Back To Business As Usual Come Monday

My vacation is over and I officially return to work tomorrow.  Granted, I was still working during my vacation, so I won’t have to get re-acclimated to the actual working part of the day.  What I will have to get used to is coming into the office and having to interact with all my co-workers.  As an introvert, that might take some getting used to all over again, but it’ll have to happen at some point.

I will also be running solo, as it turns out.  I know that things between Serena and I are going to be different from here on and out and that too is going to take some time to get used to.  I figured that during my time away from the office, she got used to spending time with other people.  What I can’t say with any measure of confidence or certainty is that she got used to being around these other people and that she enjoyed herself in the process.  My arrogance will tell me that she didn’t have as much fun with these other people, though in the end, only she can readily provide that insight herself.  I have reached a point now where I can’t worry about who she is hanging out with on a daily or regular basis, because that does nothing to help me get my own work done.  She’ll do what she will and I’ll be on my own schedule.  I’ve been pretty productive during my recent working vacation and it is my hope that I will continue to build on the momentum that I’ve created going back to the beginning of the month.  So, for the first time since Jackie left last April, I will be left to handle business on my own.

As I mentioned earlier, things have changed between Serena and myself.  One of the biggest changes is that I no longer send her text messages.  This is likely for the better, being that she had developed this terrible habit of no longer responding to me in a timely fashion.  By my refraining from texting her, I no longer find myself maintaining these high hopes that she’ll respond to me.  I’ve stopped checking my phone all the time and it took a few days to get used to that.  Now, I’m no longer waiting for text responses from her and this has done wonders for my sanity.

She and I will not be hanging out with the frequency that we once did.  I don’t even think that I’ll be seeing her on a daily basis anymore.  I’m at peace with all of this, but I anticipate that people around the office are going to notice this, that we have drifted apart, and start to ask questions as to why.  I haven’t decided how I’m going to respond to these various inquiries, as far as my exact responses.  I’m not going to embellish or create false narratives, as much as I think that I’ll just focus on what not hanging out with Serena does for me and my workload.  I told one of our co-workers that Serena tended to slow me down, with how late she would come into the office and how it conflicted with my tendency to be early and start the workday in a timelier fashion.  Word got back to Serena (because this particular co-worker can’t keep her mouth shut) and I know that Serena was not happy to hear this, even though I hadn’t lied about a thing.  I genuinely didn’t mean to hurt Serena’s feelings or belittle her work ethic, but nothing I had said was wrong.

Things might be awkward at work and really, I don’t know what I’ll be walking into tomorrow and beyond.  Still, the bottom line remains the same.  Regardless of what Serena does or is doing and regardless of whether I stay a lone wolf or get saddled with someone new, I have work to do and believe that I’m going to get my work done as only I know how.

We’ll see how things go.  Strangely, there will be a little anxiety going into the week.  I have to be ready for anything and everything.  I’ll be ready.  I have to be.