Friday 1/19/24

7:56a.m. I had another lousy night. This time I blame depression. It hit me after a supper I didn’t eat. I just laid in bed wallowing in urine, feces and self pity. I was very down about everything. I think I managed to sleep some. I remember having weird dreams that woke me up. I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was awake when thees came to get me out of bed at 5:00.

I was able to sleep in my wheelchair.I slept until they served drinks and breakfast. Breakfast consisted of cold scrambled eggs, sausage, and cornflakes. Only thing good about breakfast was the oj and coffee. I ate it without complaint.

I also talked with Chocolatechip. She was in good spirits. She said her CPAP machine fell on the floor last night but it is still working. She ta milked about doing laundry today. She also wants to go to Bible study this afternoon. She asked how my night went. I said lousy because of no care. I also talked about being depressed She asked what brought it on. I Don’t know I said.

Well, I know one thing that made me depressed. I was book browsing on Barnes and Noble. I came across a couple of books I’d love to read Oath and Honor by Liz Cheney. She was one of the few Republicans in Congress who spoke out against the January 6 insurrection. Then I was looking at my beloved New York Times. I would love to have both. But the nursing home took control of my check. I have no way of buying anything online or any place else That made me very depressed.

But the depression passed. This is a new day. I’m determined to have a good one. I’m determined to read today and finish that Dark Tower novel. Life is too short to be miserable.

9:57a.m.Some guy tried to attack me while I was at the nurse’s station. He tried to tip over my wheelchair. I wasn’t hurt or anything and staff quickly intervened. They apologized and said he was confused. I said I was ok. They hooked up my oxygen tubing to a new tank then took me to the Fiesta Room for the Coffee Social.

I’m feeling pretty good now thanks to a second coffee. I’m fully awake and above the dirt. I hope to read that damned book the Dark Tower while I’m down here I want to finish it as soon as possible.

12:43p.m. I did a lot of reading while at the Coffee Social. I read until they served lunch. I had two pieces of buttermilk chicken, green beans, rice, a dinner roll and a cup of fruit sherbet. I didn’t eat the rice and green beans. I stopped when I was getting bloated.

I wheeled myself back to my room. I called Chocolatechip. She did laundry all morning. When we talked she was getting ready for Bible Study. She was wondering if it might be cancelled because we got a!ot of snow. Still she said she is going to the Community Room just in case. I talked about my bout with t last night. I said I’m feeling fine now. We just talked for a few minutes then she had some things to do.

I intend to continue on with my reading the Dark Tower.

2:45p.m. I read my book The Dark Tower for an hour. I read almost two chapters before getting sleepy. I stopped to call Chocolatechip but no answerooes. She is still probably at Bible study. I am taking a break from my book. But I want to get back to it . I’m almost finished with it and want to read as much as possible.

I’m having a great day so far. I’m still in my wheelchair but that is ok. The Hoyer pad isn’t hurting. I was asked by an aide a little bit ago if was ready for bed. I said no. I would like to sit up and eat my supper. She said it is good for me to stay in my wheelchair. It does seem I don’t get as depressed when I stay in my chair

I’m going to give Chocolatechip one more call. Then I’m going back to my book.

4:39p.m. I’m in bed now. I’ve been sitting on the hoyer pad for almost eleven hours. It was starting to hurt. I also needed my briefs changed. So I asked the aide for help. Today I got help right away. They were also friendly and did a good job. I have no complaints about my care.

I called Chocolatechip after I was put to bed. Bible Study was cancelled because of the snow. But she stayed in the Community and talked with this one couple for awhile. I said I’m glad you got out and socialized a little. I talked about the back rent I owe the nursing home. I have no idea how much I owe or when it will be paid off. In sometime in April or May. I said I will call someone Monday.

6:31p.m. Supper was late today. I had chicken parmesan over Linguine , garlic bread and peaches. It was pretty cool good. But I’m afraid it made me bloated. I’m still going to read tonight. I want to finish that damned book the Dark Tower.

I had a good day today. Arthritis pain was at a minimum. I received good care. I talked with Chocolatechip a lot. I had three meals today. I did a lot of reading. This was truly blessed day.