Leaving The Past Where It Belongs
Sometimes you have to cut your losses and say goodbye to people who no longer have a place in your life. It looks like I’ll be doing this sooner rather than later.
Some months ago, I had reached out to my ex-girlfriend, Nina. She and I dated several years ago and we hadn’t spoken since we parted ways. I got bored one night and decided to throw her information into a search engine. Through this search, I stumbled upon her phone number, which I later discovered was accurate. Randomly, I decided to send her a text message and she responded. We would converse for just under 24 hours, reminiscing and wondering where all the years had gone. She remembered more about me and our relationship than I would have imagined. We had even wondered how life would have turned out for us had we stayed together.
At the time, I didn’t know why I had reached out to her. I figured that since I had found her number, I’d go ahead and see where it would take us. Maybe we could have remained friends? Maybe we could have conversed every so often, though not necessarily on a daily basis? I know that I was somewhat motivated by the song above, which is a song that I’ve always liked. There’s a chance that those words resonated with me at the time and perhaps that was the reason why I did what I did?
Our conversation months ago did not end well and she opted to stop talking to me. As I said before, I know that I hurt her and after all these years, I thought she might have been over it. She was not.
I sent her a Happy Birthday text message in October, which she acknowledged. This would be the last text message I would receive from her. I had sent her a Merry Christmas text and a Happy New Years text, neither of which yielded a response. That lack of response was very telling. I am of the mindset, at least when it comes to text messaging, that if someone is important enough, you’ll make the time for them and respond to their text messages. One can’t possibly be THAT busy. I know that Nina truly is not that busy, but in the end, there’s nothing I can do to resurrect that dead conversation.
At this point, there’s no reason to beat a dead horse. I will be deleting her contact information and photo from my cell phone, almost as if to say that I never re-established contact with her and she and I never spoke after our break-up from years ago. For a brief moment, it was interesting to talk to her again, but with the recent silence, albeit through text messaging, I am coming to grips with the reality that she and I will likely never communicate again. Funny enough, I am actually okay with this.
When she and I broke up, it was for the best and it was definitely for good. Maybe for a week, I had considered getting back with her, but after giving it ample thought, I decided that it would be best for me to move on. I ended up moving on and she had told me that eventually, she did too.
I don’t know where life will take her, but what I do know is that I won’t be around to see where she’ll be headed. I do wish her the best and in the end, I hope that she’s happy.
Still, having said that, if I am to know anything about her after today, she’ll be the one to reach out to me because I am letting her go, a second time.