Lust and Desire Meets Love and Respect.

Hello to All,

Something struck me tonight, it was a night not disimular to any other, but something came to mind as I secretly looked at Ani lying there on the sofa watching tv. For those of you in a relationship, have you ever just looked at your partner and smiled to yourself? I read an entry of a friend tonight that sort of bought home feelings that I should have sat down and wrote about a long time ago.

Once upon a time, I was a broken man to an extent, for those of you who have read me for a while you may remember why I got into this in the first place. The thing is though, that I think we go through a series of changes before we are ready to let all aside and change for the good. For each of us, our paths are not the same, but hopefully we all end up in the same place in the end. In my case, my ex was a stunner (on the outside) who gave me the time of my life for an eight month period. Yup, she was a hell of a lot younger than me, and I guess in hynsight I should have realised that, but I believe that I was meant to go through all that for a reason.

In the end I could’nt relate to her, could’nt keep up with her, and did’nt belong with her. The point is that I feel like I went through the last lustfull moment of my life (in reality). Lets not kid ourselves here ok, we as humans will allways lay eyes on another stranger who in some way makes us look twice. There is nothing wrong with that. Apprieciating another human being for how they present themselves is not a sin, making contact with them in a prevocative way is. We have to wade through a lot of shit in our lives before we make it to dry ground, but in reality we live long lives and the painfill time is short compared to the happiness we feel when we finally wake up.

I can’t believe I have the most wonderful woman on earth. I looked at her profile, she had no idea I was. She has the most perfect nose, I mean it’s perfect! Her skin has this natural softness to it, and since she never wears makeup, her natural glow is bright and fresh. THough I am fortunate that she is so beautiful, that’s not what made me fall in love with her. She makes me want to touch her, just to touch the skin on her arm. We sit watching tv holding hands, and you know something, she never has damp palms! When it’s hot, her skin is cool, when I’m cold she is allways warm to the touch.

I’ve slipped up during our time together, have been less than sypathetic at times, but she allways makes me see sence without yelling at me. It’s like I know she loves me in a way that leaves no room for question. We have five children so gifts to eachother are few and far between, but every now and then she will come home with something that blows my mind. She tells me she loves me at precicely the right moment and her lips are the softest I have ever kissed in my life! If I do something around the house to help her out, she tells me it means more than flowers. She makes out with me like she did when we first met, it has never changed.

She manages our finances, subliminly gives me an allowance, yet still allows me the option of spending money if I need to, yet somehow I never do and we are better off each and every week. I have female friends too, yet if I was stuck at thier house she would never be jelous. She trusts me to the end, knows that I feel the same way as she in regards to our  ever expanding family, why the hell would you ever want to lose what I have now.

Ani is my soul mate and it has taken me thirty seven years to find her. Can you look at your partner right now and know, I mean REALY KNOW that they will be by your side to the end? I can, I know, and I’m smiling! We both took on more than we could chew when we met. Neither of us knew we would end up with five kids in a four bedroom house, but you know something, we made it, I made it, I finally made it! I lived a life in the past less than appropriate at times, I drank too much and cared little for the thoughts of those around me. These days I love my Sunday afternoons, having a gless of Chardi, cooking on the BBQ for the masses and breathing in the air of happiness that I have.

I was once known for never staying in a relationship for any longer than eight months, we are looking forward to our third aniversary together in six weeks. I can’t see myself anywhere but here, there, as long as she is by my side and I have Krystelle, Morgan, Tabetha, Jack and Tai in my arms!

This was just a bit of a rant to you guys, I hope she never reads it, she is still the only woman who leaves me speachless and if I had to explain it she would just say I was being silly! Funny Huh!

I Love You Guys!

Luke xoxoxo