Last entry of 2023

As an update to the last post, I’ve been trying hard to dissect the issue to figure out how and why I had that meltdown.
I still haven’t been back to therapy, because I got into a car accident on my way.
Then, just for kicks, got into ANOTHER CAR ACCIDENT exactly a week later. I’m still in a TON of pain. My back and my neck were most affected. I don’t know how the second one happened. I was braking and I swear it felt like my car accelerated, but I could hear it screeching as I hit the other car, like it was trying to brake, but my car just said “nahhhh…”

Im in so much goddamn pain though.

You wanna know what’s crazy? I knew it was going to happen. A few days before my accident, I was in bed and literally thinking “I better enjoy this sleep because I’m going to miss being able to get comfortable for a little bit.” Then I thought THAT was a weird thought.

But then the night before my second accident, I had a dream that a tornado destroyed my car, that my mom picked me up to take me to the hospital, that the hospital was at exit AAA (which doesn’t exist- at least not near me). And then when I crashed I was like “Just like in my dream” even though it WASNT just like in my dream. Idk, my dreams are wacky. But it was odd.

Anyway, I’m going into 2024 ready to take shit on head first. Just as long as that shit doesn’t involve stressing out my back and neck anymore because goddamn I’m in pain!!!