A Merry? Christmas
Hohoho Merry Christmas everyone 😁, I wish everyone’s Christmas out there isn’t as lonely as mine.
This is my first post here and I decided to go here because it might be nice to share some of my stories with you. I know some people may want to binge-read my journal entry, if not, then it’s all okay too.
It is Christmas and I have work, tho I work from home and am very grateful about it. I was able to bond and have a little Christmas time with my family as it is not too busy today, yet I still feel empty.
None of my family members notices that. I don’t know why I am sad or maybe I am just in denial. I was happy being with the family, the effort that they visited our home is greatly appreciated. I was always hoping for the usual party with friends at Christmas, or at least something more jolly, loud, and joyful.
Greetings were sent left and right, greetings were received left and right, but not from the people I expected to receive them. I just feel sad that I have a small group of friends and I still feel that I am trying to fit in. I know they care for me but you know it when you’re just that friend who is pretty much disposable, replaceable, and someone who usually gives out an effort but at the end of the day, is still undervalued or misunderstood.
Maybe I am in the wrong circle? well if it is the case then I am f*cked. Because I only have a few friends, I don’t go out often and am often busy with my work schedule.
Anyway, I hope you guys don’t have a similar fate. Will write more entries soon if we’re still kicking. Next entry — a proper introduction.
I don’t have many friends. I have maybe 4 people in my life that I will have now and in the future. I am too raw for people. I speak my truth and call bullshit out. People don’t like to be confronted. I do. I love considering criticism and evaluating/defending my beliefs. I’ve honed my conversational skills, checked my logical fallacies, and built myself better. It is not my problem people don’t want to grow. People expect not to be held accountable and then they can get along.
It does get lonely though. I am wired this way from my experience. I don’t consider myself a bad person. I am still growing. But my circle is of people who can have a good conversation and show real signs of contemplation. I think that is why I like this community. Everyone is laying everything forward. It’s beautiful. You got me on your side. Merry Christmas.
@mandeacero Thank you for taking the time to read through my entry. Everything you just said, soothes. It is as if you are here and can see the situation I am in, I appreciate it.
I agree.. it gets lonely sometimes. I guess it is a fact that when we grow, the circle grows smaller but at least the people who stayed are the ones who cared and understood. Thank you again.
Merry Christmas.
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