My day 4

today I woke up around 12:45 pm. I went to sleep around 5:15 am or so… My husband was talking to his best friend when I woke up. I cleaned the dishes/cleaned the litter and made the beds. I was glad that I was ok. Later on, hours later, I and my husband went to the store as we were going there he said something that bothered me but I tried to not be mad as we were at the store. But my inside was hurt. We finished the shopping and I could not forget what he did, so I told him that if he wanted to be with someone else to go ahead and do it. But he said that he was always worried about me and it made it look like it was bad. he said “You’re always sick, you’re not there for me when I want you there you are not!”.. as the talking went on, Every day and night I think about him and made sure his ok despite my Payne. What does he want from me? Everything I do is for him. Everything!!.. I felt like the world was against me and I had that before and I don’t like the feeling. I never .. ever think about me. I always want to make sure that who I love is happy. I can be happy if that person appreciates me that’s my reward. I am not asking for much. We talked about other things but in the end. I know  I’m not a selfish person and never was. That’s the reason people that I thought loved me took advantage of me throughout my young life. I always worry about others and unfortunately, that is the way I was raised and I can’t change now. I’m happy with my life right now, but tomorrow we don’t know. Good night