she’s fighting for me

She’s fighting for me….
but I’m slowly slipping away.

it kills me in one way…
and I don’t want to be killing her…

I once had a girlfriend that "gave me her heart"…she took it back when she dumped me for a manipulative jerk that made her bulemic (spelling?).

I had another girlfriend that I cheated on several times with an old ex… she hated me (rightly so) and spread nasty rumours that weren’t true about me… or I guess were only partially true…but mostly not!

I never cheated on the ex though…

I don’t want to be dishonest with anyone… I need to be honest so I don’t go sliding down that awefully steep slope to end in pain suffering…I couldn’t bare that responsibility of doing that to my wife.

So instead I should suffer through this pain and just live in a solemn state of unhappiness and pretending.