First equine therapy session coming up and so excited!

I should write. That is what will help. It has been a high anxiety day. I am neither here nor here, getting ready to embark on the next stages of my journey, wherever it may take me.

I texted with my equine therapist who said I can get therapeutic benefits out of just one session and that he has a couple of horses he wants me to meet. That makes me happy! I can have my first equine therapy session on November 19th. In the meantime I want to start reading books on horses again. Maybe I will feel inspired and do some horseback riding in Guatemala too. There are some gorgeous rides up into the clouds. I think horses are about to become a much bigger part of my life, thank God! And maybe it just occurs to me so strongly because of my fifth grade obsession with The Saddle Club but horses could be a great way to make freinds. I mean, I don’t exactly see myself making many friends theough learning Python, but horses… who knows where that journey of equestrian and human connection might go. It is a spiritual journey. And I can write about it on Medium! My equine therapist writes about horses on Substack.

I guess I can believe it but it is sad anyway that no one ever recommended anything like this to me before. Nobody knows me well enough to understand how horses and goats heal me and touch my soul. I know, I know, nobody else can find yourself for you, but I just feel like someone, somewhere, my mother even, should have just known. What is needed at least for me is truly unalienating and connective therapies and this feels like it. I get to have therapy and horseback riding lessons at the same time! It is time for healing and looking forward though, no regrets…

I got a book called The Tao of Equus: A Woman’s Journey of Healing and Transformation through the Way of the Horse. I am excited. Horses are my life! LOL. Or they will be. I hope. I wonder how I would get a job working with horses. I bet my equine therapist can help me figure that out. What are ways to start getting relevant experience with horses so that I can get a job or start a business of some sort working with them? Well, the moment I get to my first session, that counts as experience, but I wonder what kind of experience I need and how much for what I might see myself doing, and where I might find income opportunities in this area. I am excited to kind of start planning my equestrian future. It is just nice thinking about that: if my ideal is to live in a more rural setting and I have experience with horses I might never be too far away from a way to make some money. Of course most of my income is independent of location anyway but it would be nice to have experience where living in the rural woodlands is an asset! The thing is: I am so scared of the future, I can’t imagine it without grief. But horses are so empathic, they are such friends, they can make grief bearable. If I make horses a part of my future I can be excited to create it more than I am afraid of grief. Horses can help me find my way.

Tomorrow I am taking a class on writing on Medium. I had my first payment into my account today so I am kind of pumped to start writing. Now, it sort of makes me nervous, I must confess, that I already have two followers after writing just one article, and I hope that if I do not niche and write about a whole lot of different things that will he okay. I hope they don’t expect me to write only about plant-based diets and then I end up writing about different stuff and lose my followers. Maybe that is a question I will bring up in class tomorrow. I want to understand better what my expectations are as far as Medium income because there are earnings from page views, which is one thing, but also income I can generate in various ways through Medium. Now can I just be a writer for a while and build up that income stream? How much earnings can I reasonably expect from that alone after say six months of writing? And then how am I going to leverage my viewers and followers to build an email list and start offering other products and services that people might pay for? I hope this class helps me formulate a gameplan.

Another good thing that happened today: I wanted to get the search for a brokerage that would give me level 3 trading privileges out of the way. I thought maybe I would spend all day applying for higher level privileges with different brokerage accounts. Actually though I called the very first one and asked how I find out my level and apply for a higher one and lo and behold ai am already approved for Level 3 trading with WeBull. I don’t even have to look into the others, maybe. This was also the brokerage I was least counting to give me these privileges, kind of like a reach school when applying to colleges, but I got in, and I can trade the options I want on margin whenever I am ready. I don’t know when that will be. I think maybe it will be a birthday or Christmas present to myself: I will research as much as I can over the next few weeks and then buy my first options contract around my birthday. *If* I give myself an honest assessment of if I feel ready and am able, without emotion getting into it, to say yes.

I think by the beginning of next year my goal is to have a transcription website set up again so that will be another source of income, hopefully. At least that will give myself a few months for money to start coming in that way. If I can start to get a client or two by June I will be happy. In the meantime I think I will see if I can transcribe for other companies, too.

I just had a meditation class where the audio cut in and out the whole time and it was so annoying. I did some EMDR but I think now I want to do more. Then maybe ai will get to some of the other stuff I want to do. I find getting interrupted just once even for a little while can throw off the rhythm of my whole day so I go from accomplishing lots to accomplishing nothing at all. Today was not the most productive day but maybe I will settle down and get some stuff done tonight.

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