Simplicity and the good life

I got my airline tickets figured out. About thirty dollars more, leave two days earlier, and no stressful layover on any leg of the journey. The issue was I gave them the wrong expiry month on my card. So I am leaving pretty soon. It is strange. I am an impatient person these days. I am anxious to start feeling like I am living again. I want to develop a helpful perspective on life. Lately I know, I know, I have been living out of fear, but I can take tiny steps every day to live more out of love.

I was watching an episode of Bill Maher and I was like, when are the commercials coming? This feels like being inundated by bad news about the world. I don’t want to be in fear and pessimism about the world and about all the things the world is in fear of anymore so I want to live simply and with a sense of abundance. I am not going to obsess about the bad news or the things that could happen or have happened.m to me or to the world. I watched this show and I felt like if I do not choose simplicity it is going to turn into insanity. Maybe I have let go of my ego just enough to transform my life into a new mindset that will let me live in a way that feels more abundant than ever before.A few precepts I came across in a Medium article by Michel Reyot summarising a book called The Good Life Handbook. Here are a few that feel most relevant right now:

Understand what is in my control. Only try to avoid what is within my control. You are not what you own (what you own is your intelligent response to your first impressions). You can’t lose what you don’t own. Don’t react impulsively. Don’t seek outside approval. Be true to yourself. Don’t try to do things beyond your means. Keep your side of relationships.

I started looking at a book that contrasts fear and love and that really is the transformation I need to make. I fear so much that I am doing life all wring and with no one around to really share it with it is easy to get impatient and to feel like what I am doing is not enough. Of course there is truth to that: if I am not sharing what I have to share perhaps I am not living and I need to find ways to share more but that sharing mist come out of an abundance and out of love, not out of fear.

Then, this feels like good cognitive therapy for me. When my cognitions are skewed that might be seen as similar to coning out if fear rather than love. Here are some things to keep in mind from a book called The Heart of Abundance. So many of the ways I get in my own way are believing what fear believes. Right now I don’t know exactly how to shift to what love believes but only a path with a heart is worth taking. I think it is time to meditate. Today I am going to do it lying down because that feels like the gentle thing to do for myself. Yes, my life can change if I believe what love believes, if I learn to be less afraid, and to trust, despite all the fearful things I am seeing in the world. I don’t watch much TV but seeing this episode of Bill Mahar made me feel like this is a world so filled with fear and it is so easy to keep spreading the fear rather than love. To the fear I want to opt out. My rational mind keeps fiving me reasons to fear that I may never have even noticed before and it screams that mow is finally time to take these things seriously. But maybe this is also an opportunity to become seriously happy. I am going to need support on the journey.

There is no fear in love . . . I John 4:18

“Fear believes . . . there is never enough. Love believes . . . there is plenty for everyone. Fear believes . . . the worst about people and situations. Love believes . . . the best about people and situations. Fear believes . . . there is only one right answer. Love believes . . . there are many ways to understand something. Fear believes . . . you have to change others through manipulation and coercion to get what you want. Love believes . . . real change comes from the heart, starting with your own heart. Fear believes . . . things will never change. Love believes . . . any situation can be transformed by the power of love. Fear believes . . . that everything must be mapped out ahead of time. Love believes . . . that you can trust the process. Fear believes . . . in negative thinking. Love believes . . . in positive choice. Fear believes . . . the damage is done. Love believes . . . healing can happen. Fear believes . . . if you’re not a success by now, you must be a failure. Love believes . . . you’re only a failure if you give up on your dreams. Fear believes . . . I must do everything with my own strength. Love believes . . . there is a Higher Power that wants to help me. Fear believes . . . that everything needs to hyped. Love believes . . . in quiet strength and simple faith. Fear believes . . . life is cheap. Love believes . . . life is precious. Fear believes . . . anyone different is “them.” Love believes . . . there is only “us.” Fear believes . . . it’s too late. Love believes . . . it’s never too late. Fear believes . . . the situation is impossible. Love believes . . . a solution can be found. Fear believes . . . that fifteen minutes of fame makes you important. Love believes . . . we are all important. Fear believes . . . people are disposable commodities. Love believes . . . people are sacred. Fear believes . . . in proving your own superiority over others. Love believes . . . in honoring the greatness in others. Fear believes . . . no one is listening and no one cares. Love believes . . . in prayer. Fear believes . . . effort is only justified by outward success. Love believes . . . sometimes we need to do something for its own sake.”

And then there was something Danielle LaPorte says: growth and healing are not linear and there is no place I am ‘supposed to’ be right now on this journey. I am where I am. But I will never trust that where ai am is okay and that I am not doing something horribly wrong without knowing it until I confront myself in the eyes and hearts of others. Until then I feel anxious and alone and like nothing I do is ever good enough. I am so afraid of wasting my life. Only love and confrontation with the eyes and hearts of others can relieve this anxiety and tell me I am not or give me constructive criticism so I can live the life I deserve to live.