Barefoot & Pregnant-Adjusting to our new lives
October 30, 2023
It was December 2022. Everything went like a blur, Thanksgiving was over, then baby came, and somehow Christmas and New Year’s passed during the lack of sleep, and in spite of not going to school for six weeks, I have no idea how we got through those hours, days and weeks, but for God’s provision and protection, the love of our families, and the new life we held now in our hands, instead of carrying inside my body. I have no idea how I adjusted to being a nursing mother while taking care of the housework that still needed to be done, to rest so I could heal, and especially how I wanted so much to please my boyfriend but had to wait several weeks for normal sex to return. I did take care of him like we used to before we started having intercourse, and he seemed satisfied with that, since it was still an intimate time, and he did manage to give me some pleasure down there, too, especially as my flow lessened more each week. My body did not return to it’s former shape and size by my six week checkup. Of course my breasts were now even bigger and heavier, my hips felt different, wider I guess, but still the flabby skin from a stretched out tummy was less, but still needed some work. That became one of our intimate moments, just gently rubbing lotion and massaging it became such a great feeling and the love he showed as he caressed even that flabby flesh was, in a certain way, arousing to me. He loves me so much!
I returned to school part time the last full week of January, spending a few hours each day in class and almost as much time nursing my baby boy during the school days we were there. My Mom or Julia, my mother in law, would bring him over for the first feeding, I would take him to a separate classroom where there were two other girls nursing, and we would have class there, until I had to nurse him again, then Mom or Mom Julia would take him home, and as soon as I got home I would nurse him again. That, in retrospect, became the pattern of normal for the rest of the school year.
Our intimate times also changed. We had a nice break at the end of the first week back to school where our parents gave us time to be alone for most of the day Saturday, except for two feedings, they also had milk I had expressed for him. While alone we began to explore how we would re-establish a normal pattern of intercourse, especially due to the uncertainty of what it would be like after birth and six weeks of abstinence. The first times were uncomfortable, but not painful. and we were able, within a few weeks, to establish a somewhat less frequent pattern but still satisfying to each of us, and much more spontaneous than before, as we never really knew, especially early on, how long we would have. We chose the intimacy time over the intercourse time as our first priority. We knew we could always “just have sex” if we needed, in a few minutes. We cherished the time together playing and being with each other. Orgasms were regularly better for me than they were before baby. He seemed just as satisfied as before, because I never put him off if he felt the need to have me. That may sound odd to some, but you have to understand, he also, never denied me any time I wanted him. We were serious about that part of our relationship. I guess we both understood that the best way for either of us, both of us, to be satisfied, was to always find pleasure in each other instead of even thinking about another person. All I know is that as I write this, we still practice this kind of sexual relationship. He is at school right now, and I am at home schooling myself. Our son is asleep, and if he came home in a few minutes for lunch, either of us could initiate sex and the other would agree. We both believe that sexual needs must be satisfied by our spouse (yes, I haven’t documented it, but spouse is the right term for us now) as soon as possible. Sexual frustration leads to sexual sin, and that is far worse than the pleasant interruption of giving each other an orgasm.
At the end of February I turned 16. In my state a girl can marry at sixteen. We had discussed this with our parents shortly after we had our announcement back in June, and decided it would be March 4 that we got married. It was a small ceremony, us, our parents and our baby. Honeymoons were not necessary for us, vacations would come later, for now we had work to do to establish our family, finish our schooling, and raise our son, and any other babies that would come along. When we started having intercourse again we decided to not use any birth control. The likelihood of us getting pregnant was somewhat reduced since I would be nursing long term, but we knew there was a risk. We trusted God would continue to take care of us and not give us more than we could handle. I guess some think that is foolish, because we could fairly easily prevent pregnancy. However, you are not me, nor can you fully understand our family relationships, backgrounds, desires and plans. We trust if God allowed us to get pregnant right away that He will provide what we need. My Mom, Nana and Baba all nursed for over 12 months and none of them used anything either, and none of them got pregnant in less than 10 months. So far, I am keeping that statistic true, as it has been almost 11 months now for us.
As the weather warmed and spring came, the normal life continued to change. Feedings became less, my weight and shape, while not exactly as before, was more normal looking. My bust was bigger, still from nursing, but it was not getting much smaller any more. I had gained two inches in my waist and almost three in my hips, both from growing up more and from childbirth. Sex became more frequent and just as satisfying, and my desire to get pregnant again began to grow. My now husband still massaged my body with lotion, lovingly touching me. He still kissed my now nearly flat belly, and I loved touching him all over as well. School ended in June, and the summer, too came and went, more, different routine. Baby passed six months, and nursing was down to three or four a day as we began to introduce some solid foods.
October 31, 2023
Sooner than expected I was back in school for part time three days a week and two full and three part time days at home . Baby was 8 months old, and I still nursed him once during the day, along with mornings and evenings. I still intended to nurse him for at least a year. We had settled into a relatively normal routine of intimate times together, mostly evenings, sometimes mornings, and often Sunday before getting ready for church. We also were spending more time than before in Bible reading and praying together, asking for His guidance as we tried to have another baby, but I was still not cycling. Like being pregnant, it was nice to not have my period for several months.
As of today I still do not have my period.