Content creation and languages

Figuring out how who I am matches what I might want to write about for an audience sounds like it would be a very grounding thing and a way of growing myself and finding out more of who I am in an organic and progressively expansive way.

I have always been terrified of this kind of stuff and of having an audience who might care what I have to say. I don’t want to then feel beholden to my followers and like I can’t be myself. It is hard to imagine having a thousand followers without feeling pressure in some way but at the same time I am suddenly kind of excited about this as a way I might do something I love and integrate different parts of who I am and monetize on it. I have often felt like, I do not want followers, but how much of that is fear of taking leadership, fear of admitting that I might have something to contribute, pressure to keep other people happy by contining to produce content that they like, fear that I will certainly end up saying irreverent things that make me lose a lot of followers! I may also be overly terrified that everyone is going to find out about one goof up with one person and the idea that if someone is following me they might be talking about me with others for better it worse and that is scary.

It is time to stop being afraid of all that, though, and as I am kind of unattached to outcome and just interested in seeing what happens, this could be a perfect time to start!

Yet I can’t help but wonder if the very thing I am scared of (other people seeing me, or a presentation of me) might give me a sense of purpose, connection, accomplishment, and of contributing something to the world, and let me connect with people in my own way? Maybe I have to SelfDesign my life and this could be a way to do it.

Once I find out through experience what I like to write about and what folks respond to I could start making videos too but having an audience for my videos scares me even more and it takes a little or a lot more preparation. I have always been resistant to fitting my words and ideas to an audience, like I like them to be scattered and all over the place, or just a diary where I can say things however I like, but maybe it is time to see what I’ve got to offer. I could build a list that might eventually help me start doing language coaching but I can build that list through writing about multiple things that interest me.

I’m focused on studying Spanish, German, and Japanese, practicing guitar and music, and traveling to Latin America while I find a business idea to get excited about. I love writing about language and culture and and of my exciting adventures exploring vegan and plant-based food in different places. I have lately been intrigued by Latin American and Latinx gothic literature. Maybe I find out who I am by doing, or at least that is how it feels right now. Once I start writing things I think more and more things I could offer to folks will come to me. I don’t need to know what they are yet but I am pretty sure if I build a list in this way that will be compatible with the sorts of businesses I might want to create though I don’t really know what those will be yet. I want to grow something but I don’t yet know what… and this feels like a good way of ‘faking it till you make it’ in a way that is authentic all the while.

One of the first things I am learning: do not worry about all those social media platforms. Focus on one or two that are most compatible with your skills and interests. Oh, good, so I don’t need Facebook to grow my interest, yay! I might use Instagram since at least I like the concept of sharing photos.

I always thought content creation sounded like a good way to grow a business. I helped people by writing articles in the past. Why not try it again? I have run a business transcribing audio into written word, and writing is my thing, but I could never see any way to make writing about such a mundane task as transcription exciting for me. People just need transcription when they need it and I don’t think investing time in content creation would have helped much (what do you write about when you just convert audio to text for people who need that service when they need it, anyway? Writing to get clients felt so boring to me, I needed another business!) Besides, in that business even one client can keep me busy for a long while, and too many leads in that business would be overwhelming. I am thinking of different kinds of businesses I could start that would take advantage of things I love to write about… or things that are monetizable that my unique audience might be interested in, and if I build my audience by being myself as much as possible, a lot if those ideas might start to come pretty naturally…

That is what I have been focused on today. I am just finishing up the first part of Labyrinth Lost in Spanish. I read a couple chapters last night but I feel like I spent most of the day doing nothing. I wrote down some vocabulary I highlighted and then added it to foashcards. It took a while.

Flashcards are great for getting words deeper into my psyche and every repetition helps solidify them as permanent residents in my brain. After a few repetitions with flashcards when I was in Mexico, even after not studying Spanish for a long time, that vocabulary is still in there, and it did not take all that much time to get to the comprehension level I was at before and maybe even surpass it. Every time I see a word and remember what it means it goes deeper and deeper. In the case if German I think the best strategy is to just read and not nitpick on remembering every little thing. Start reading simple things and make flashcards of words that I might already know when reading them but have totally forgotten I know how to say. I think the first issue with German is, I may recognise vocabulary, and the grammar is easy enough if I just let myself gradually take in the harder parts as they come (which was *not* my approach when I started learning German), but I forget offhand the words for the simplest things. I need help recalling words and phrases that I might totally recognise upon seeing them but that I don’t know that I know well enough to use them in output like writing and speaking. Flashcards help flex the muscle of recollection so the words get deeper into my brain. It does take a while to input the words and it feels like time taken away from pure immersion which I find most helpful of all. This is the thing that I haven’t heard anyone say even if they are devotees of the spaced repetition flashcard approach: for me, anyway, especially starting at a basic level of comprehension, it does not take a whole lot of flashcards to immediately start seeing huge improvements in reading comprehension. Then when you start seeing words and phrases more often in your readings, it is like a built in flashcard and it feels good because you know another repetition just through engaging in something you enjoy is going to improve your language ability in the long run, and the more you see certain constructions, they get easier and easier. If you’re reading a book in the language even a handful of chapters where you do flashcards on the vocabulary, at least in my experience, really improves my reading fluency, and you don’t have to drill on lots of words for months and months if you have a way to keep experiencing the words you learned, like through reading in the language.

Learning vocabulary in the context of reading or watching film media and engaging in content makes it so much easier for me than just learning vocabulary lists out of grammar books without stories to ground them in something. I am also experimenting with grounding Spanish with German by adding Spanish to the English side of my German flashcards. The idea is, I just see the Spanish, and that helps me remember that I do in fact know how to say it in Spanish, too. Plus sometimes it helps me learn Spanish better eithout even trying. It helps me remember the German and to not confuse the two. It is fun to translate between Spanish and German. I spent a long time exploring the Spanish-German dictionary yesterday. It was fun and I think there must be great ways I haven’t thought of to ise Spanish to solidify my knowledge of German and vice versa.

As absolutely basic as this vocabulary list is, making flashcards helps reacquaint me with German and to start feeling more confident in what I know, while all the while feeling like I am getting better at Spanish without even trying.

There are so many things you could put effort into that at first it feels like you have to study or you’ll never get it but a lot of them will come wuickly if you just start immersing yourself as soon as possible. Remembering which verbs are reflexive or which ones are irregular learning the gender and plural of so many nouns in German, for example. Once you basically know the grammatical structures encountering them in readings or in trying to write them is the best drill for me.

Over the course of reading even just one book you encounter a whole lot of the constructions that felt overwhelming. You start to realise you are going to learn it, it is just a matter of being exposed to it enough, in an engaging way, and the amount if exposure you need ai find to be surprisingly little. Now I feel like after learning the basics of a language I could improve my knowledge of it by leaps and bounds just by immersing myself in a single book. What if people who were afraid they’ll never learn a language took on the challenge if just reading and comprehending one book (maybe rereading each chapter once or twice as you go along, realising your comprehension improves each time you do this, and then you are thinking in the language without even knowing it, and you start picking up vocabulary like magic. At least that is my approach.

The goal is to spend as little time learning in inefficient ways as possible and focus on what will really get you to fluency. People think they have to do these grammar drills and study so many vocabulary lists before they can get into doing something they enjoy in the language and I say it is never too soon to just dive right in.

klingeln — to ring (sonar)
strecken — to stretch, also reach out your hand for something (estirar)
der Wecker — alarm clock (el despertador)
die Taste(n) — button (la tecla)
drücken — to push, press, also squeeze or hug (apretar, apresionar)
(sich) reiben die Backen — to rub (your / somebody’s) cheeks (frontarse {las mejillas})
fühlen — to feel
sich (gut / schlecht) fühlen — to feel (good/bad/etc.)
schauen — to look (mirar)
eine weile — a while (un rato)
öffnen – to open (abrir)
sich aufsetzen — to sit up (incorporarse)
die Gardine (-n) — curtain (la cortina)
durchfluten — to flood
anschliessend — afterwards
danach — after that (después de eso)