I slipped

Listen, either i eff this up all the way, or i don’t.

I accidentally told someone after i promised not to.

Goober called and had mentioned his brother and i was like noooo…. i Don’t really talk w him. I just know his brother and have kept in touch with him.

Soooo… then we started talking about how its cool we can just connect like nothings lost, and I’m like ya, thats cause you’re family.  Then we started talking about who we hooked up w and i had mentioned a random dude, which is true, and then…

I mentioned B and how he got ne messed up and i didn’t want to be there anymore. My heart was broken.

Which is true.

And then started talking about people and what they’re going thru and well he guessed really. Phone call ended. Then i messaged him…

And this evening i told him to plan for Thurs.  He said he’d talk w me about it after work, but i got nothing.

I’m not even mad though…

I will be if he disses me, and he may.

If he says he forgot, I’ll just forget him and noone would be wiser and i won’t ever step again for anyone.

Because tf if this doesn’t work as i think it will, why am i even wasting my time.

Its because i obsess. I overthink and get anxiety.

And because i really do like him and it would make sense. But if hes not stepping up, neither will i and this whole thing will be one big bunch of bullshit.

I told goober tho, that nothing at all happened,  we’re just talking and idk if I’m really ready for it anyway.

Ughhhh.