The Happy Birthday Dare

Nina’s birthday is in three days (October 10).  The last time she and I communicated, we did not part on the best or happiest of terms.  In fact, she told me that she did not wish to hear from me again.  Obviously, she still had some residual feelings, not only from our conversation, but also from when we broke up over 20 years ago.  To use some modern-day terminology, it would appear that Nina is “feeling some type of way”.  I don’t blame her and it is not my intent to belittle her in any way.  She is allowed to “be in her feelings” and really, who am I to judge?  She can feel however she wants and I won’t criticize her in any way.  As far as not wanting to hear from me again, well, that’s partly my decision to make.

I have a tendency to do things for effect, to see the outcome of whatever it is I’ve done or am doing.  Here is my dilemma, if you even want to call it that.

I am inclined to send her a “Happy Birthday” that day by text message, if for no other reason, than to truly wish her a happy birthday for the first time since 2001.  Obviously, it’s been a few years since I’ve done such a thing for her and in my head, there is absolutely no harm that can come from such a gesture.  How can I be the bad guy for wishing someone a Happy Birthday?  I don’t see any negative in what I’m thinking of doing.  I don’t expect for that little three-word text message to necessarily lead to a conversation, but could it really all that bad?

When she and I last spoke, she had actually quizzed me and asked me if I even remembered her birthday.  To my surprise, I did and even she initially doubted that I would recall it.  She had forgotten mine, though I didn’t do anything to make her feel guilty about it.  In saying this, I’m hard-pressed to think that she’ll be all too surprised if I sent her a text message that day.

So, as I write this and look to close this entry, I think I’m going to do it.  This is another instance of where I’m doing something for effect, to just sit back and see what happens.  There is little, to no, risk in doing so and I have nothing to lose by doing it.

We’ll see how this goes, but really, the only thing I need to figure out is this.  What time do I send this text message?

That day, I will likely wake up at 4am.