Just A Calendar?

In general, I tend not to rely on people.  This goes for both my personal and professional lives.  I’ve always been this way.  By not relying on others, I save myself the grief, headache, and eventual disappointment that comes with being let down when people fail to do what they say they’re going to do.  Sometimes having even the smallest of expectations can lead me to being disappointed.  It is because of my continued efforts to avoid the discomfort of disappointment, that I have become a firm believer of the saying, “If you want something done right, you do it yourself”.  I don’t mean for this come off as overly dramatic, and maybe this looks especially petty, but it is this sort of thing that just bothers the hell out of me.

Why does it seem like sometimes getting people to do something, even something simple, is like pulling teeth? I don’t want to think that I ask for too much from others, but sometimes, it seems like Serena and I just aren’t on the same page.  I don’t know if this is because I expect too much from her, or if perhaps Serena just doesn’t seem to understand the importance of how I like to do things.  I’ve said this before in previous entries, but I’ll say it again.  Serena is still in the middle of her formal training regimen.  Just this past week, she learned that her training is actually going to be extended and will now take her through the entire month of October.  It was supposed to end on October 11th, but for whatever the reason, the powers that be decided that she needed to continue her training for another three weeks or so.  That’s just great, but this is the kind of situation that neither one of us has any control over, so we’re left to deal with it.  Serena had told me verbally that her training was going to be extended, but for whatever the reason, she couldn’t find it in her schedule to provide me with an actual written copy of it, so that I had it for my purposes.  This is why I start to wonder if I am asking her way too much.  I don’t mean for this is sound like a big deal or anything because maybe it’s not, but I’m the type who likes to be organized and have my workdays planned out in advance.  At any point this past week while she was at her desk, why she couldn’t have literally turned around behind her, taken a picture of her training calendar, and then sent that picture to me, is beyond my comprehension.  This is one of those instances where I wonder if I am expecting too much.  I don’t think it is.  I’m not going to tell her this to her face, even though I kind of indirectly already told her this a couple of days ago, but I will say this.  If I had some kind of training regimen that I was doing, one that would interfere with our work schedule, I would have done everything I could to make sure that she was aware of it and that there was absolutely no confusion or lapses in that communication.

I like order.  I like to plan things.  Serena brings with her a lot of chaos and commotion.  She has a different mentality as to how she wants to approach this job and I get that.  Not everyone is going to do the job the same as I do.  I think that the current challenge is this.  If she can’t or refuses to do something as simple as getting me her training schedule, this makes me wonder where else I may struggle as far as making this whole “work marriage” thing work out.  In the future, what else will she not do, regardless of reason?

For the moment, it has me second-guessing myself, which I hate doing.  I also hate to think that I’ve made a mistake here.  I’m also truly hoping that this isn’t a situation where Serena just doesn’t care.