Slow Progress is still a Progress

The very first entry I had here, I shared how I feel like I’m stuck in time: I feel like I can’t let go of something that wasn’t really existing in the first place. It’s been just a couple of days but I think I’m starting to make peace with myself about how things went. I understand now that I shouldn’t blame myself for how things ended, may it be in a good or bad way. It’s not bad that I set boundaries and cut people off for not respecting that. Over time, I realized that it was just the feeling of guilt that’s bothering me. I hurt him and I felt guilty about it. I am used to always putting other people’s feelings before mine even if it costs a piece of me. I realized that it shouldn’t be that way. I shouldn’t settle for disrespect just because I don’t want to cause pain to others.

This time, I’m choosing ME.

Don’t get me wrong, I still check on his socials sometimes. I still have this hope that he’ll reach out to me. I still hope that he’ll realize the impact of what he had done. Would I feel bad if that doesn’t happen? NO. There are things that are already out of my control, his feelings and realizations included. What I can control is how I’ll move forward with this.

It feels like moving forward a few steps and then one step back but it’s okay, it’s still a progress. Having a setback doesn’t mean I am failing after all. I’m working on myself to be able to build meaningful relationships in the future. This is just a part of the process.