Another Year, Another Birthday

I don’t know what to call this entry.  It’s not a complaint.  I’m not upset.  I’m just thinking out loud, if you’ll pardon the expression.  Perhaps, in the end, this is just a rant, the kind of rant that I pretty much could have written every year for the past few decades.

Yesterday was Marlisa’s birthday (September 16).  I have a tendency to remember things, even when there is no reason for me to do so.  Consequently, I have a lot of useless knowledge in my head.  It just so happens that after all these years, I still remember Marlisa’s birthday.  Years ago, I wrote an entry about Marlisa.  It is not my intent to copy that entry.  Maybe this is more of an update to that entry?  I don’t really know why I’m writing this, but here goes.

For many years, I would send her a Happy Birthday e-mail.  I don’t know for how many consecutive years I did this, but after each e-mail I had sent, not once did I ever receive a response, not even so much as a simple “Thank you”.  Nothing.  After all these years, not a single response.

I am not on social media, though a part of me is convinced that had I been, I would have found her a long time ago and maybe I would’ve gotten to the bottom of this mystery.  Marlisa was a friend, I suppose.  We weren’t best friends.  We weren’t even good friends.  Now that I think of it, maybe “friend” might be a bit delusional on my part.  Actually, now that I think about it, we were more acquaintances than anything else.  After all these years, I think I’m comfortable admitting that.

We never spent time together during our time at USC.  We never had any of the same classes together, even though were both majoring in psychology.  We were co-workers for just a year.  At most, we would see each other in passing and even those occurrences were especially rare.  During my freshman year and I suppose for the three years that we were at USC together, I had the biggest crush on her.  While I never told her this outright, I want to say that she knew that I liked her.

I am of the mindset that she was not deliberately ignoring me all these years, but that she had since changed her e-mail address and never felt compelled to let me in on it.  I’m not bitter or mad about it.  I guess this is one of those situations that I couldn’t control, so there’s no reason for me to be mad about it.

I genuinely hope that she is doing well, even after all these years.  I’m not looking to wish any hateful shit on Marlisa.  I truly hope that she is doing well.  I was never destined to be a part of her life in any capacity, and I am perfectly okay with that.

Let me close this entry/rant.

Wherever you might be in the world, Marlisa, I still want to wish you a very happy belated birthday.

I think that this will be the last entry that I will dedicate to Marlisa’s birthday.  I just don’t know if I care that much anymore to really make this an annual entry.