Thursday 9/7/23

5:21a.m. I’m very pissed. I wasn’t changed at all. So I was lying in urine all night. I had the light on and nobody came. I told the nurse but it didn’t do any good. So I just laid in my own piss and shit. I’m very, very mad . I’m definitely calling the omnubusman .

The aides came in at 4:30 They changed my briefs and put cream on my sore butt then got me in my wheelchair.They were friendly and did a good job. But I was still very upset. I kept thinking this is just no way to live. Needless to say I got very depressed and anxious.

Anyway, I’m above the dirt. I should be grateful. However , I’m not sure I want to live much longer. I’m tired of living like this. Lying in piss most of the day isn’t much of a life. What the hell do I have to look forward to? I have more days of neglect and abuse from this stinking nursing home. This is no goddamned say to live.

But I will continue to live. I’m not doing anything stupid. I’m just very depressed and tired of it all. I can’t see it getting any better. Most nursing homes in this area are pretty much the same. So it wouldn’t do me much good to move to another place. I can’t see going from one rat hole to another. I don’t know. I really don’t know what to do at this point.

8:00a.m. I feel a little better. I just had breakfast.I ate pancakes!ex and ham. The coffee and juice also helped lift my spirits. But I still feel depressed from my lack of care. Coffee did not cheer me up. I still feel very, very tired. I think the life is draining out of me. I’m going to try and make it to the coffee social today. Maybe that might cheer me up.

9:15a.m. I called Michelle, the omnubusman and left a message. I’ll call again if she doesn’t know respond. I will go directly to legal aide if she won’t help. I’m mad as hell. I’m not going to put up with this shit.

I fell asleep for an hour. I still feel very tired and depressed. I’m half inclined to spend the day in bed. But that would mean fighting with the aides for help. I’m just not up to that challenge. Besides I want to go to the social. Perhaps it would do some good to get out of my room. Then the extra coffee just might do the trick.

Then there are always books. I am almost halfway through Decision in Philadelphia The Constitutional Convention of 1787. I’ve been getting lost in this book reading six chapters a day. I wasn’t feeling so hot yesterday. I started reading and forgot about my problems. Maybe I can do the same thing today.

1:40p.m. I feel better. I read one chapter before going to the Coffee Social. I do not know what it is about reading. I get so much enjoyment from it. It soothes and calms me as I get lost in books. I started reading this morning. Soon I forgot about last night I began feeling better. Getting changed and washed also helped. Then I felt like a human being.

After getting changed I had a nice aide who took me to the Coffee Social. I had a good time. I continued reading and read almost two chapters in my book. The two cups of coffee worked its magic. I also had a great lunch. They served something called cottage chicken pie. It was like a chicken pot pie. It was very good. Also had glazed carrots and a blueberry bar for dessert.

While I was there I talked with a nurse practitioner. I told her everything that happened Saturday and last night. I said I went from supper to 4:30 on the morning without getting changed. I said I’m tired of this shit. I’m moving if things don’t change. The guy who was with her said he will tell Stacy, whoever she might be I felt better after complaining but nothing will change. I made my way back to my room.i called Chocolatschip We talked for almost an hour. That made me feel a lot better

I’m going to get lost in my history book. I got four more chapters to reach my goal. Like I said I want to finish Decision in Philadelphia tomorrow then start on Holly by Stephen King So I’m going to be busy reading. I love it.

5:56p.m. I read another chapter in my book. I hope to read three more chapters tonight. I took a break from reading when they served supper. I had two BBQ pork roll sandwiches. They were pretty good. I talked with Chococolatechip after I ate. We talked for about a half hour. We talked about the latest shit the Bitch Clique is pulling. I am praying that she gets out of that hellhole soon.

I’m bloated from supper. I ate a big lunch and two sandwiches. That is a lot for me. I hope the bloatedness goes away. I don’t want to get sick tonight. I also hope I get care tonight. I was talking to Chococolatechip about how how it is for me to get care. I have to practically beg the aides to change me. I don’t understand it. I hope I don’t lie in urine and feces all night. I hope I will win the power ball.

7:31p.m. It looks like another hellish night. I needed changed. I had the call light on. An aide just came in and turned it off. Then she left without saying a word. I was doing good until this happened. Now I’m upset and pissed off again. I told the nurse she will tell the aides. I’m thinking that will be a big help. Can you detect the large dose of sarcasm?

I’m really pissed. I’m so pissed I can’t concentrate on my book. Who can read when they’re lying in piss and poop? Belly also hurts from being bloated I’d rate the pain a three on a one to five scale. Fortunately, I just had some Mylanta. I hope that will settle my stomach so I can read. I’m going to give it a try.

11:07p.m. Mirical of Miracles I was changed. It happened around 9:30 The aides woke me up and changed my briefs. After that I started to read my book. I read one chapter. I would like to read one more. This would make five chapters today, one short of !y goal . Well it’s back to my book