The End I Wish For

The quietness of madness, of sorrow, of otherness. How it spirits you away to a place of silent tears and roaring shame, terror of the future.

Is it madness to fear what lies under my medication? To know what’s on the other side? To wonder from time to time?

I just want to sob into the arms of one I love. Tell them I want to stop taking my meds. Tell them I’m so tired. But I already know what I’ll be met with.

I want to be as light as the petal of an orange blossom. To not know this pain. To be so free. To be happy.

May Seroquel help me sleep. May Abilify keep back my visions and voices. May Viibryd help with my trauma. And may Propranolol help with the rest.

Until the end, I shall ride. Let the end never come. Let the happiness rise. May I know peace.