This will probably be more venting

These past few days have been on the more rougher patch for me. My frustration with things is starting to really get the better of me and I am losing my grasp on the hold of not blowing up at anyone. I am really working on not being that person anymore because at one point I would have just snapped by now and said things I didn’t really mean.

I have always been the one to take care of things, I’ve always been my family’s go to for pretty much anything. Now I am  not saying I mind it one bit, I am glad that they know me as being so reliable. With that being said however, sometimes I feel like that gets taken advantage of.

I’m suppose to take care of everything, make all the phone calls, do all the driving and pretty much do all of the hard stuff for someone else to take all the credit. I’m not saying I need anyone to know I did it because I do not do those things for that reason. It’s just frustrating because if someone wanted all the glory for it then why can’t they do it themselves?

I’ve been told so many times that I’m over emotional or have anger issues yet when no one wants to be bothered with the hard stuff everyone calls me to do it and then brags about how great they are. When I open my mouth I seem to be out of line and I pretty much get hushed in a sense.

There have been so many times where something has gone on in my family and it was like I wasn’t allowed to have any feelings because everyone else’s was more important. There has always been some kind of excuse as to why none of them could be there for me, yet I was expected every time to stop and put everything on hold for them, even putting my feelings aside.

I guess my feelings are getting the better of me tonight. A lot has built up over the past few days and I’m running out of ideas to help with them. I’m thinking this will be the end of my rant because if I do not stop now I will dwell on this the rest of the night and that will do no one any good.