My usual day

I’ve been brought back to Earth hard today. My sons didn’t want to stay any longer than they had to, so they are now home as of 11am.

Then I am reminded that I am a walking loser as no one greets me or reciprocate my greetings. Not on the street, not in the store, nowhere.

I’m back to feeling like a disgusting ugly lump.  No one makes me feel any other way. I say I feel ugly, they say stop. Not you’re handsome or even you’re ok, just stop.

I just want to feel normal. I’ve done the work for 4 years. I’ve been in a dark room with a bottle of pills wondering and I pulled myself out of all that for the promise of “it gets better” that has yet to come.

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August 9, 2023

as they get older, the kids will get more selfish, I wouldn’t make it about you, it’s probably their age…

August 14, 2023

I’m not divorced (or married) but I was a kid of divorce and I can tell you, your kids are probs feeling super awkward around both parents. It’s a lot of unspoken stuff going on and they’ll be able to pick up on you feeling down That’s not your fault obv, but they probably don’t know what to say. It’s so irritating to hear that time will make things better but it will. My parents who couldn’t be in the same room for over a decade now chat regularly. It’ll get easier even if it doesn’t seem like it. It’s just the waiting part that sucks.

August 14, 2023

@dirtyprojector Thank you

August 15, 2023

I’ve seen a few pictures of you and you are not ugly, at all.  You are definitely not a disgusting ugly lump.

I agree with strawberry jelly…kids can be so selfish.  They really just think of themselves at that age.