~As Good as it Can Get.

I saw this writing on a Grief site. It said it well, Struck a Cord in me.
Thought I’d share it…

(an excerpt) Losing a Piece of Me by Tammie Thomson
Imagine someone has opened your chest with clawed hands, grabbed your heart in a crushing grip and torn it from your body. But you do not die. You remain alive, in agony. Agony that will continue for days, weeks, months and years. This is what it feels like when your child dies. This is how I felt when my son Dale died, aged two years and one day. To hold the limp body of my precious child in my arms and feel its emptiness was pain that defies words. I sat cradling my beautiful child, knowing that I would never again see his smile, hear his laugh or feel his hand clinging to mine. I would never again hold his warm body close and breathe in the scent of his hair. I would never know the person he would have grown up to be. I walked from the room knowing that I had seen and held my child for the last time ever. I wondered why I still lived, and how I was supposed to keep going. I wanted to die; I wasn’t suicidal – it’s just that the only way to end my pain was death, and I ached to hold him in my arms again. Never again will I feel ‘whole’. My whole future is flavoured by the loss of my son. A part of me went with him, and a gaping hole exists that his warm presence once filled. I asked questions that no one could answer; Why did he die? Why not me instead? Death has struck close to me once – what if it happens again? What do I do now? How will I manage? Why am I still here? I rode an emotional rollercoaster. One moment I felt I was managing well – the next I was curled up in a corner pleading with God to take me, right now. I went for long periods where I did well and thought, “Okay, I’ve accepted it.” Then out of the blue, it hit me anew – “He’s dead. God, he’s really dead.” And I began a new round of grieving.”

MY NOTE- Life was really good at one time, The Best! What fun we all had. Those were the BEST times of my Life… Then it came crashing down in a Flash!. Life is good again but it will never be as Good as it was….

How I Miss Him.