NDE’s

When our Son died, we went out the next day to the Bible Book Store and bought books on Grief and set them out on the Coffee Table for all/any to read. One of the books we got and the first one I read is called CLOSER TO THE LIGHT. It is a Book about (NDE’s) Near-Death Experiences in Children. We got it to understand what our Son may have experienced.

The first story in the book is about a 7y/o named Katie who drown. The family held Prayer Vigils around her. The Doctor thought .. “whatever comforted them”….. he saw no hope. She made a full recovery and went on to tell about her experiences. She talked about recalling the appearance of the Doctors and Nurses around her. She recalled accurately procedures that were performed. She talked about a Tunnel and at the end of it meeting her Grandma who had gone on before her. Also she met two boys waiting to be Born. (I read about that in another book.. The Woman died and while she walked around Heaven she met up with her yet to be born Son and was told she had to return to Earth). Katie was given a Glimpse of her home and was able to describe what her family was wearing and where in the house they were sitting and the things they were doing. All of which was correct!

In other NDE’s the child said,
`“It was such a good and peaceful feeling. I felt wonderful!”…..
-“I was in a tunnel, I knew I was going somewheres, but I didn’t know where. I knew there was something for me at the end of that tunnel and I really wanted to get there. As far as I was concerned there was nothing greater than what was at the end of that tunnel. Forget my body, forget being alive, all I wanted was to get to the end!”…….
~“I was in a beautiful place with flowers and rainbows, where everything was white like it had it’s own light. Jesus was there. I am not afraid to go back to that place”……….
~“All of a sudden I was in a tunnel and then I found myself in Heaven. I know it was Heaven cause everything was bright and everyone was Cheerful.”……..

The book comforted me and troubled me at the same time. It talked about how in most of these cases that the Child was able to decide IF he/she wanted to return home.. Or there were times the Child didn’t want to leave and was told they must. Did Nathan get that choice? And IF he did, then he must of chose to not return. That leaves me two thoughts.. Why would he not want to return? AND Wow… The feeling he had, had to be so Great! So Consuming! So Majestic! So Glorious! The hugest High one has ever experienced! Heaven is our Goal. It’s My Goal. Maybe he knew that if he returned he would not be the boy he once was as the Doctors had said. And he knew that, that was NOT for him or us. In Heaven he would be Healed and made Whole. And then… Maybe he never got the Choice. Maybe it was just his time. His work here on Earth was Finished.

I read how in many cases people were standing around Praying for that person and the one who was having a NED, felt they had to return to their loved ones. Now that one bothered me for quite a while. I was not right there when Nathan slipped out of this world. Could my Prayers of held on to him? And maybe had I stayed around that hospital bed longer and Prayed maybe he would of returned.. maybe a Mighty Miracle would have been performed…… Anyways that doesn’t bother me now. I have worked through all that these last almost 5 years. But those were the thoughts I had then.

Actually now I am thinking that God was Gracious in taking my son Home. He could of left him trapped inside his body. How frustrating that would have been for him. And how incredibly sad it would have been for us. I know he is Happy and Healed now.

What got me thinking on all this is the Brain Death of my SIL. They knew the Operation was very Risky, but she needed it to repair a Hole in her Heart and some Artries. And then thinking about my BIL who is dealing with Life Support and when to Remove it. Now he knows and will know some of what we went through. I feel for him in having to go through it. And the waiting is so Hard! The Hoping.. The Reality!