AHHH!!!!

Why! why!! why!!! wtf!!!! I thought I was done with this I told myself after the break up and everything in between I wasn’t ever going to go back to these kinds of feelings again it won’t end well for me I just got out of being depressed  i dont want to go back to that so i hope i can shake this off because I hate the way this make me feel this pit in my stomach just all tangled and burning this Jealously,Rage,Sadness  all swirling and crashing together is too much I hate it I feel like an asshole  for feeling this because I know I shouldn’t  there no need for me to why did it take so long to come back why come back at all why today why off of something so fucking stupid because even if I knew what IT was I would still feel like this probably worse but once again here I am in my FUCKING HEAD trying to NOT overthink NOT react to stupid shit that I know I can’t control and I know can’t be helped like so many other thing should set me off but they don’t I’m not bothered by them at all maybe it’s because YOUR not HERE so it makes it easier  but if you were I know I wouldn’t be feeling this because then I’d be able to push other feeling aside and just be happy for you which either way I still am but it’s because HE is here so now I feel like idk 🤬😟☹️😭👊👊 losing a race I was never going to win  even though I’m not trying to participate at all but my mind says to bad so scenarios flutter about as I get more feeling I hate it’s like I want to talk to YOU about this like lay it all out  good and the bad but if I go negative  I’m prabably going to cry and feel stupid AF because I have no reason to feel these feeling but I do and I really need them to stop why HER when you could have prabably anyone you want BACK OFF 💢👊👊 see I’m an asshole but as long as your happy everything is alright and that’s all I care about 

FEELING ARE STUPID kind wish I was back to being numb to them but then I wouldn’t feel the way I feel about YOU but all the other feelings can go in the TRASH!!

PEOPLE ARE HARD I feel like I just don’t get people at all like I hate interacting with most I feel all of not most are stupid feel like I’ve never really fit in which never bothered me but at the same time I feel like if I did then I’d get people more which would help with the feelings

FUCK YOU!!!! I’m not even mad at you I’m mad at myself for being a fucking Dumbass idk why I let myself feel the thing I do when I know the results but here’s to hoping I guess

LIFE SUCKS!

I NEED CUDDLES AND A HUG AND A GOOD CRY FUCK OFF