I just didn’t know or did I?

I don’t know what brought it on or why it was even a thought, however, something the other night made me think of this website. Think about my open diary and the things I wrote on here. Why didn’t anyone ever tell me I was being over dramatic about things?

I guess it could be chalked up to be I was a child and I didn’t know any better, but the truth is in some cases I think I did. In some ways I think I liked being so caught up in all of that drama. I think I unknowingly asked for the hurt that I felt from the situations I put my self in and allowed my self to be so consumed by things that were never any good for me.

I could sit here and say that I was brought up to not know any better, but as an adult I’ve learned that saying that is only a cop out  and I needed to learn how to own my shit. I am working on that now, even when its not easy.

The people in my life have changed, some gone by choice and some I wish were still here. This life that I live now was not the life I thought I would be apart of, not because its something bad or because its so great that I don’t feel I deserve it. It’s just not what I had pictured in my head as a child I guess.

If you have read anything I posted prior you have a glimpse into some of the things from my past, feelings I had or some of the things I went through.  I won’t lie though, there are somethings no one will ever know because I don’t think I’ve ever shared every part of who I am with anyone. Its not personal, just how things are.

There’s a lot for me to say and so many things I could talk about but I think for now I am going to leave this post just as it is. It’s kind of my start for the next chapter we’ll call it.