today

its been a decent day for the most part, my ex bff said im not allowed to see her son anymore, and its not in protection of her son but its to hurt me and have control, i honestly feel bad for her, i couldnt imagine being that hateful its pathetic really, i couldnt imagine if my bf and i had kids and i wouldnt allow them to see her. but then again, if were going to play those petty games then were gonna play those petty games. idk i dont even know if i want kids but thats not the point that me allowing my pettiness take over and i feel miserable when i feel like that. anywhooooo i spent HOURS making this game to study and well it doesnt work for me like at all, i have to do standard flashcards along with doing the motion or the thing because the game doesnt work for me unfortunately but thats okay. i did alot of studying today though and it was good! it worked out really well for me, the final will be here in like a month which is insane to me. i also did some therapy work in my dbt therapy workbook today and oh i dont know if i mentioned but my finger pain is completely gone which is a refresher i dont think ill actually verbalize it, i dont want to jinx myself i also think. ahhh and my roommate is leaving for a week, dont get me wrong im going to miss her but the apartment is going to stay spotless and that is just a dream cometrue. i also think im on a bit of  a sugar high, i had three cupcakes and soda and no water so thats probably a huge issue that im having but my meds have also changed so that could also be a part of why i feel better but i think alot of it comes from how i felt about the ex bff. i feel so like liberated almost? i was listening to the SAONGAF and in the chapter i listened to today, it talked about how people avoid things because it threatens their curated identity and it brought up how pure certainty is the enemy. because there is no evolving or changing and well i want to be a person that evolves and changes. i want that. i want to keep growing i want to do better i want to grow and thrive and i think now that the ex bff was holding me back. dont get me wrong i wish her well and clearly im still stuck on it since ive brought it up a handful of times now but its like a regular breakup but with no romantic emotions. and its helped me keep my mind off my ex husband which has honestly been so so so so nice. its insane to me how fixated i was on that. i do however have court to talk about my wages being garnished, which i will happily tell them that i will pay half but scott should have to pay the other half, in the eyes of the law i think that will be seen as fair. but since ive done my studying and and my diary today and did my calendar stuff today i think im gonna keep reading on buddhism okay bye