20.05.2023

I am definitely way too hungover today.  My body feels like it’s dying.

I should have stopped after the first drink last night.  I already knew it was hitting me too hard.

He wanted me to go to a friends cabin.  I didn’t want to leave her alone.  She insisted we go, so I took one drink with me and told her it wouldn’t be long.

Im happy when I’m there.  D always makes me laugh and T is always sweet.  I really enjoy spending time with them, even if their wives are boring.

I haven’t laughed like that in so long.  The second drink is hitting me harder than the first.  D as always is putting another in front of me, and I’m having a good time, so why not?

I remember D going from looking at me and laughing, to stopping and staring, hard.  It was like he could see through me.  I’m sure I’ve played the part well tonight.  It makes me uncomfortable, so I go and talk to the wives.

I remember wanting to go home to her, he didn’t want to leave.   Based on the state of my shoes by my bed I must have walked through the woods.

There’s a gap I can’t put together.  I feel like there’s something I should remember.  But the bed next to me is still made, which makes me relieved.  Maybe I don’t want to dig and find the missing pieces.

This cabin was always my happy place.  I’m lying bed looking at the trees and the water and it gives me a sense of calm.

Maybe I’ll stay here all day.

Maybe today will be a good day.