Love

I miss having a relationship, eventhough I have learned over the last 4 years I never really had one. Well not how a person should anyway. I don’t think I’ve ever had one how a person should.

So I don’t know what I am missing at all. I think I know, but I honestly don’t. Chances are I never will.

All my “big” dreams of fatherhood and being a perfect husband are gone, replaced with doing the best I can for my kids and a head full of empty meaningless memories of a relationship that wasn’t.

I long for the return of these relationships where I was left, destroyed, and hurt because it was better than the loneliness I live in now.