Being replaced

Some people say it’s life and others call it change, but I see it as being replaced. Everything about me and who I am or I was has been replaced.

Patty replaced me, work replaced me, he replaced me as “dad”, my sister replaced me with her in laws, and even my friends replaced me.

I have to somehow accept the fact and no one else does. I have to change what now feels like every 4 months, lose everything all over again and be told that it’s all in my head.

I can’t afford my therapist who made it pretty clear when I said I needed to talk, but I didn’t think I could afford to with a heartfelt 🙏 and silence.

It’s bad enough everyone else thinks I do this all for attention. I deliberately lose jobs and break me myself so people “see” me.

I guess I hate me too.