An Object.

I keep trying to think positive thoughts.  Been working on my self-esteem and I’ve been doing better, but every once in a while, I have a day where I just want to cry all day.  I start thinking these things…

Why did Otha act interested and just switch up literally over night?  I don’t understand.  What happened?  It makes me feel so fucking humiliated.  Because here I was, thinking he was so into me and I start messaging him, only to get barely anything back, and it makes me feel fucking STUPID.  Like how could I be such a fool?  It feels like it was all a joke.  Like, Haha, this bitch thought I liked her when I kissed her.  It’s fucking humiliating.  And I’m getting over the Troy thing, but the fact he was messaging almost every day until we met up and messed around… It just feels degrading.  Like, “Oh, I’m done with her, no need for further communication and attention.”  And when Chris was messing around with me but trying to get in relationships with other women.  When I asked why, he said I was just “too sweet” to be in a relationship with.  WTF does that even mean?

It feels like I’m disposable.  It feels like I’m just a huge fucking joke to these people.  I feel like an object.