Lots to think about

I have had a lot going through my mind lately.  I don’t even know where to begin.  I guess I will just grab a random thought.

People say that it is a bad thing to try and make every one happy.  That "you need to do something for yourself", or "be more selfish."  This would seem like a good idea at the time, but what about after that person dies.  If they stay on the please every one road then every one will moarn and remember them.  If they deside to become more selfish then no one will miss them.  The person has to descide if they want a wonder life or wonder memory.

I went to see body worlds yesterday.  It got me thinking how amazing life is.  That got me thinking how the person who did this did something amazing.  My point is that I want to do something amazing.  Not so much do but discover.  My only problem is that I have to figure out what that something is.  Do I want to find the cure or prevention for cancer?  Do I want to invent a way to double crop production?  Do I want to make a new element?  Do I want to make random elements become alive and prove evolution?  Figuring out what I want to do isn’t the only problem.  Once I do figure it out how would I even get my foot in the door?  I want to walk in to room of scientist who have been working on a problem for years and just casually tell them the answer.  I want to be in a meeting and get told that if I don’t have results in 1 month my operation is getting shut down.  Then I can say "That just isn’t enough time".  Then when I find the one thing that I over looked I can yell "Eurika!"  I know all of this sounds silly but it would still be amazing.

People ask me why I am with my boyfriend.  Every one thinks he is an asshole. I’ve never had an answer for them untill now.  It is because he opened my eyes to so much.  I am no longer the conservative person that I was.  I no longer look at a poor person and think "why don’t they stop being poor?"  I now question everything in a different way.  When I see that person I now think "Why is society forcing people to live on the streets?"  I can now look at anything and have an open mind to it.  I see how the world could be a better place for everyone and why "scum" are the way that they are.  I no longer look at things and think "God is why."  I know just think "why."  I have learned so much and yet realized that I know so little.