Bored

I have yet another theory on why I feel like this.

I think it might be becasue I have falled into a routien.  I wake up every day and get on the computer.  I always buy the same food when I go shopping. (because right not I am poor and have to buy poor people food.)  I let the dogs out as soon as I wake up.  I let them out right before I go to bed.  I let them out aobut 3 times inbetween.  I get on the t.v. and look for any good movies.  And that is my life.

Yesterday me and Ryan went to 3 different stores because we wanted fresh donuts.  I have not got to be picky about what I want in a very very long time.  We ended up buying 8 donuts, a block of cheese, veggie bacon, and little pizzas. None of that is functional with our budget.  It was such a small thing but yet it made me feel so much better.  I accually got to break out of the norm and have donuts, cheese, and bacon for dinner.

That randomness is what I miss from my appartment.  My first half year there (before I lost my job)  Non of the food in my house made any sence and that what the way I liked it.  I only had tortilla chips, cheese salsa, and cereal. (for the most part anyways)  That was what I wanted for breakfast and dinner and that is what I got.  Anyone who came over would say that I had no food, but to me I had everything I wanted.  I never had to say that I couldn’t go to taco bell because eating at is cheaper.  I would have parties where I didn’t know half of the people there.  Some times I would go to work on no sleep and come home and party again.  Sometimes I would just lock the doors and not let anyone in because I wasn’t in the mood.

Maybe I am just loosing the control over my life.  I no longer get to say who can come into my house and who can not.  I share Ryan’s car w/ him so before I go anywhere I have to make sure that it fits into his plans as well.

Why do I suck so much!?  Why do all of these theorys make complete sence but none of them can go together?