It’s not hurting, but stings like a bitch

The 4th Easter without family how it used to be. Another man gets to enjoy my kids when they wake excited. Family dinner without me involved, both at home and at their Aunt’s, my own sister.

Not sure why I keep thinking each year will be any different. Even the first year just months after being torn from all of it, no one invited me.

I stay strong for the boys. I see them for a couple hours, where they act as though nothing is any different being with me for a little bit. They fight and disagree, get angry and fight some more and then the visit is over before it even began. I drive them home to once again see a stranger doing what I used to do. No greeting from their mother, even though I had texted her hours ago. Quick hugs and that’s it for my Easter.

No word from old friends or my own family. No dinner at home awaiting me. No invites.

Not sure why I keep thinking each year will be any different.

Happy Easter OD