Everyone Wants Something from Me!

• always making me feel bad about what she has and what she needs
• every few weeks always asking for money for something, a lil while ago it was money for meat for the easter weekend, last weekend it was R 70 k for a house, before that it was air time, then it has been electricity, then food…

And they shit thing is that I cannot feel bad for helping her out when I can, becasue I know she has nothing and is living off government grants, which isn’t much, and her first born daughter is not helpful as all she can do is have kids and work for basic pay, which is kinda what I am doing too…well besides popping out kids.

• bossing me around to do thinks for our father’s girlfriend and then making me feel pressured to follow through.
• Does she not know how I feel for his grilfriend and how my emotions to her are pretty much me faking a smile just so I can have my father in my life still?
• Does she not know the things she has said about me and how difficult she makes me having a relationship with our father?
• Of course the buying food for them and making sure they were alight was done by me and because that was the way we were brought up to be, but also hugely because I need to make sure that my father is alright.

• Well I have written about this stress before
• Don’t think he sees where everything is coming from, he just knows it will all be there
• I am his sounding board (which I am happy to be, but sometimes it would be great if he just made things happen in stead of just be all talk)

When will someone give me what I want? I just want to not have any stresses and do just wake up, over a long period of time, and not have to worry about anything.

Being an adult sucks!!