Ari

Eric and I are headed to CA on Saturday for 9 days. His middle son will celebrate his 18th birthday. I still haven’t met his kids. I have told Eric he is in charge, I take his lead. I am in no rush.

Although truthfully, I am scared to meet them! It feels safer being in the background. No chance they can reject me from afar. But, I know that can’t be how it is forever. And in reality – they will reject me. And I have to just be okay with it. It’s not about me at all. I consciously know this, but still am scared about when I finally do meet them!

Eric’s relationship with his kids has been strained in the last year. Other adults, like their mother, and even his 2nd wife (their step-mother), share adult opinions with the kids and it has soured them to Eric. I don’t know if I can ever understand why Eric moved back to MA when their mom chose to stay in CA – and even Eric is figuring out for himself why he made that choice and if he can forgive himself. However, the last few months with his kids has improved significantly – most noticeably with his college-aged daughter, Ari. She lives in WA.

Ari has started calling and facetiming Eric – a far cry from the unanswered texts and calls he was facing this time last year. She shares inner feelings and is introducing him to her life. It’s been incredible to watch the growth. I love that Eric never gives up. No matter what happens, he is there.

Ari mentioned at the start of the week that she was looking at tickets to get home this weekend to celebrate her brother’s birthday. I told Eric that this was more than just getting home to see Bryson. If she was still avoiding her dad, she’d never book a ticket home while Eric was there. She wants to see Eric too! Eric mentioned how pricy the tickets were. I told Eric to buy Ari’s ticket. I said she is a poor college student, and that she shouldn’t be spending money on flights. Eric was like “I don’t really have the money either.” That’s relative – he does, but he’s also trying to fund house repairs and renovations, and doesn’t want to drain his savings. I told him to use points. And then realized that I have well over 100,000 Southwest points and that if she was interested in Southwest, she could use my points. I offer this. He said Southwest was who she was looking at. I pushed the issue – I told him this is too important not to do. He called Ari and made the offer. She was really sweet, grateful, tried to say it was okay and he didn’t need to do it. He said he was sure…and then later told her they were my points. She thanked me as well – on two different occasions. I don’t think I can buy my way into the family, but it feels good to have been able to make a sincere offer like this that is well reciprocated. I know Eric is already on cloud 9 knowing he’ll see all three kids at the same time! And I think this is important for Ari too – she needs to see her dad and solidify in person what they have been working on long distance.

Will I meet them next week? Not sure. And I’m okay playing it by ear at the moment.