Goodbye

 Today was my last day with my girlfriend, who flew here from the US for a month to spend time with me. I just saw her off, and I’m profoundly saddened. Everytime I get surprised that it hurts so much. I guess I hide my feelings well from myself.

Everyone else seems to know how much she means to me though… I had started counting down to her arrival a month prior… as Grace had pointed out 2 nights ago. Love sure hurts when that other person isn’t around.

Woke up in the Westin today… had treated ourselves to a night in the best hotel in Sydney. Their beds are to die for… Got packed, and left… on the way out, Jeannie pulls out the button that had popped off her coat, and put it up on my nose. "Button nose!", she joked. One of our inside jokes… she always liked to say that I had a button nose.

Got out and walked around searching for Pie Face. Jeannie and I had always called each other pie pie face… so picture my amusement when I stumbled across a pie shop that was called "Pie Face" a few months back. Their pies all have smiley faces drawn on them (these are savory meat pies, not sweet fruit pies) –  I placed a mental earmark to bring Jeannie here.

Satisfied, we started on our way home. Standing on the street corner, she suddenly says, "I’m going to miss the footlong ice creams here"… we had to leave for the airport in 2 hours, and the ice cream shop was about 15 minutes away. I decided to bring her there anyway… she really does love her footlong ice cream. I remember the first time we went there. It was freezing cold, and passers-by were just staring at our ridiculously long ice creams. Jeannie had a silly contented grin on her face that she couldn’t wipe off, for $2.90, her happiness (priceless) was an amazing bargain.

But today, the store wasn’t open. She was disappointed, and it make me quite sad. I had really hoped that I could make her happy, send her off with that one last ice cream. We got some ten ren tea instead – back in NY I would always clamour to go to Ten Ren for their green apple green tea – their pearls were to die for. Guess that was my equivalent of the footlong ice cream.

Stopped at the dumpling place for some dumplings, with me making jokes about how I was trying to get her to miss her flight. Inside, I wished that I really were trying to. I held her hand from across the table while we waited for the food, trying to memorise how it felt.

Walked slowly back home, packed up. Had a teary embrace before we pulled her luggage out of the apartment. Sent her off at the airport gate.

She turned back three times. Her eyes were red. Mine were a blur. I dabbed my eyes with my sleeve as she turned away that last time and walked into the line. I turned away too, blinking repeatedly.

Goodbye Jeannie. I love you – miss you already. I hear a plane flying overhead. I wonder if that’s yours. Wonder if you’re scared of the turbulence.. Be brave!