You’d think I’d be used to it

Pain, emotional, mental, physical, I’m tired of feeling that somehow I’ve screwed myself up. Even as I have a good job, even as I’m slowly getting my debts paid down. was in the hospital Last Saturday (the 14th) because my heart went a bit wacky. making achingly slow progress on my book. almost done rewriting chapter 2, just another 3 scenes to go before it’s done. then I’ll spend 5 minutes making minor changes to the chapters and put them up online.

Just horribly horribly depressed the last week.and things keep getting worse….

blergh. I think i’m tired of wanting anymore.

but I’m not dead yet, which is probably a good thing. but damnit I’m tired of my heart aching… and not sure if it’s physical or mental or emotional.