I mourn for those who never knew you…

“It won’t be long,
We’ll meet again,
Your memory is never passsing.
It won’t be long,
We’ll meet again
My love for you is ever lasting.”

-Killswitch Engage Rose For Sharyn

Yeah, I’m being foolish but I don’t care, I’m going to listen to that song over and over and fucking hate the entire world. It’s been so long since I had a good ole fashion self destructive emotional state. and I’m going to damn well enjoy wanting mayhem murder and kill. I want to kill people, not everyone, but a few people stand so high on my hitlist that I can taste it right now. There are days in which I hope I can lose everything, simply so I can stop fighting to hold on and instead just relish destruction.

I went to a concert at a little occult record shop in Tampa, and I enjoyed the concert. some of the bands sucked horribly but that happens. A couple of bands were fairly nifty. But what I’m playing through my mind was a video they had playing on the TV. of a woman. being slapped. over and over and over. being kicked over and over and told to get up and knocked down when she did, and kicked again and again. then taking pliars and twisting her skin in various places…. then cutting her skin…. smashing her hands with a mallot…. and it got worse from there…. I think the needles through the head and into and out through the eye was the end of the video.

I’m sure the video was staged. but it was fairly realistic and disturbing as hell and I think it’s fueling my rage and outrage at this moment in my life. Oddly I was much more ok last night. disturbed but not upset.

“Shed the weight of this world
This burden has been lifted
Let it all fall,
Let it all fall,

Set this world ablaze
We alone remain.
Don’t fear what awaits,
We alone remain.

Let the skies turn black
Let the infection burn
This is the new eternity
Embrace eternity.

Let it all fall,
Set this world ablaze.”

– Kilswitch Engage – World Ablaze