whole

All the time. 

Talked to Mark a lot. Feeling so much better. He is over it. He’s interested in another girl and he’s moving toward a lot of success. He’s finding a job and he’s making goals for himself. 

A lot of guilt has gone away. The heavy weight and aching for him has gone away. 

I feel so much better. 

I feel like I can be good now. Like I can fully invest in Won Sop (Tim) Like I can be good to him without the weight of my past with others dictating some portion of my awareness.  I feel free to just be. 

I just feel good. I was holding on to so much guilt and shame while I thought that Mark was still hurting. But now that he is moving on, now that he feels so good about his life, I am light as a feather. 

I needed his forgiveness. 

Won Sop will be different. I won’t lie to him.  I won’t cheat on him. I won’t hide people from him. 

I will be good to him. I will be thoughtful and observant. I will make every effort to show him that he is loved. 

I feel good. I needed to be forgiven. 

Finally I can embrace this fresh new person with vibrance and excitement. 

I can love him 

I am happy.

kiss the frog!