02/15/2011

Its amazing what a really honest break down can do.

Grandmother died. I love her so. She was everything to me and most of who I am. I got some of her jewelry and some of her furniture. Beautiful framed pictures that aren’t very special but hers none the less.

I started to think it was my fault. I really thought that everything was my fault. All of the little things. I crawled under the bed and cried for hours, over everything- Mark, Grandmother, money, grades, the future in general. I cried and it hurt so much.

Mark came home from class and looked under the bed where I had fallen asleep as a sad little ball. He crawled under the bed and asked me what was up and I told him everything.  Not just what has been bothering me recently but what has bothered me in the past. Everything came out under the bed. He listened so well and was so strong holding me there.  He told me how he had been feeling too. Some of the things he said tore me up again, i cried more, i wish the omar thing would go away forever, but he said talking about it finally made him feel so much better. So the tears were worth it. Then we layed there. I scratched his back and he kissed me on the shoulder.

Since then everything has been so much better. There was one drunk fight about spilling ramen on the carpet. but thats really it.

Sex is great again. The best part is that it’s frequent. Nearly daily.

Thank God for honesty.

 I’m really glad that he is mine.

(language update: My korean is getting better by the day and I am officially a tutor in the East Carolina University Language Academy)

kiss the frog!