and it’s been forever again

it keeps happening that I keep not writing.

I’m going to write a long entry about me and mark so sum things up

Mark and I met a very short while ago. He was a virgin and I was a regular sexplorer. Mark and I got to know each other very quickly and I became fascinated with him. His language was beautiful his ideas and goals were noble and the fact that we could talk for hours on any subject was enchanting to say the least.

I quickly decided that I wanted to be the one to take Mark’s virginity, therefore assuring that an amazing guy would have an amazing first time! Much to my surprise although Mark was average in bed, he was exceptional in tenderness. He was sweet to me like no one had ever been. He was calm and logical, patient and accepting. Any time I criticized him he took it with grace and applied it appropriately. I was in awe. Imagine my complete bliss when he admitted one night after a very long walk and an extraordinarily deep conversation, that he loved me. Mark told me very early in our friendship that he had never been in love and had no interest in finding it anytime soon; but now, he was standing in front of me with his hands on my cheeks, having just whispered those three words. I immediately told him that I loved him too and kissed him. We have been dating ever since.

Mark gave me a necklace made from ceramic. It was shaped like half of a broken heart. Much like those you see at JCPenny made of silver, with love, or friendship, scripted across them. My neckless was different though, it was thick, a light greenish with brown edges and an unfinished brown back. On the front it said "heulk." This means "earth" in Korean. Mark has the other half. They are handmade and thus don’t fit together perfectly, but that adds to thier charm. The necklaces were given to him during his last trip to Korea, by a woman who lived in the mountains and made pottery. She gave them to him and said "give this to a special girl in America when you go back" He told me that he was originially confused as to why they said "earth" instead of friendship or love, but when we found out that we were both tauruses he knew that the necklace was ment for me. After all, taurus’s element is earth.

I have always believed in a higher power and the tendency of that higher power to guide. I believe that very few things are "meant to be" but in this case I feel, it may be undeniable.

In 2005 I went to Chicago with my mother and her fairly new husband. On the the fourth of July the city of Chicago shoots off a big fireworks display downtown and people flock from all over to see it. I would guess that there were at least a million people there. My new step sisters who had lived in Chicago for a while told us that the best spot for watching the fireworks was on the bridge downtown that sat over the train tracks. As long as I didn’t think about the fact that I was sitting on a bridge, I was fine and enjoyed the display very much. It was really beautiful and I understand why so many people had come to see it. When the show was over, everyone started to move. A million people are walking in a similar direction. It was amazing. I had never seen so many people, they filled the streets block to block. I was overwhelmed and I started to laugh and yell "hello" at everyone. My new sisters tried to tell people that I was drunk or high, but honestly I was completely sober. I was simply moved.

I started to yell "I’ve just shared a memory with 1 million other minds, our 2 million eyes have all seen the same beautiful event. For just one hour, my life was parallel to 1 million other lives doing exactly the same thing. I am now connected to 1 million other lives who all have 1 million other stories and now, no matter how vague, I am a part of them. They are all a part of me. Behind 2 million eyes are 20 million memories and I am one of them." I turned to my elder sister and said "Can you believe that? Isn’t it amazing to think about? Overwhelming to know what a huge role you play in someones memories by doing very little at all? Sure, if you hadn’t come, there would still be thousands of people here; but what if everyone failed to come? By just showing up you have contributed the sea of people that will make this memory stand out." My sisters laughed at me and told me that I was taking this too seriously. I said to them "Just you wait and see, one day I am going to meet someone with the same moment etched into their past. They will have watched the same fireworks on the same day in the very same city. And when I meet them, we will be friends. I can promise you that."

After I had known I have always believed in a higher power and the tendency of that higher power to guide. I believe that very few things are "meant to be" but in this case I feel, it may be undeniable.

ing to meet someone with the same moment etched into their past. They will have watched the same fireworks on the same day in the very same city. And when I meet them, we will be friends. I can promise you that."

After I had known Mark for about two weeks, I told him that story. He began to tell me, how he came to live here. He said that his family had come here from Korea and that at first they lived in Texas. Then they moved to Chicago where they lived for 8 years before they moved down here to North Carolina in 2007. Mark told me that he watched the fireworks in Chicago every year that he lived there, including 2005. He was there when I was there, watching what I was watching, feeling everything that I was feeling.

There are certain things in the world that can be explained away as coincidence. The old wives tale that says if your hand itches it means your going to get some money, or if you store your shoes above your head its bad luck. These are silly superstitions and anything related to them can be dismissed as happenstance. Still, I never scratch my hand and my shoes stay on the floor. for about two weeks, I told him that story. He began to tell me, how he came to live here. He said that his family had come here from Korea and that at first they lived in Texas. Then they moved to Chicago where they lived for 8 years before they moved down here to North Carolina in 2007. Mark told me that he watched the fireworks in Chicago every year that he lived there, including 2005. He was there when I was there, watching what I was watching, feeling everything that I was feeling.

All in all, I suppose this is a good way to look at something that might have been "meant to be."

kiss the frog!