1/6/14 barrage

1.) Ah the old days of scrambled cable-teevee porn, when you’d just turn to a random channel and hope for the breast.

2.) His entire life was an act of ego-terrorism.

3.) It’s a garden that has some trees, just some trees, just any old trees. It’s an arbitrarium.

4.) Stop complaining if she takes a little longer than you to get ready for the party. Primpin’ ain’t easy.

5.) I’m feeling cornered by my life so I’m looking for my future in my past but, like, I’m wrong to do that because time don’t work that way.

6.) That weird point where a bad Tasmanian Devil voice and a bad Arnold Schwarzenegger impression overlap on a Venn diagram.

7.) When people start talking Harry Potter, I will say “I’m House Puffinstuff!” just to mess with them and see if they understand I’m kidding.

8.) Before storming Wall Street to arrest hundreds of bankers and brokers, yelling “Federal regulators! Mouuuuuunt up!”