1/3/14 barrage pt 3

1.) Tarantino was initially very excited about joining Occupy but only because he misheard it as Occupy All Feet.

2.) Maybe I just need to open a home for the mentally askance, for those not mentally ill exactly just mentally unfit for this social structure.

3.) Anyone trying to criticize Jessica McClure isn’t going to bring her down because living in a well is the best revenge.

4.) I’ve come to know that for whatever reason, for good and ill alike, American English isn’t just my language, it’s also my operating system.

5.) It’s a SKILL SHOT, SURE to make the high scores POP, humpin’ the bumpers until another free game DROPS.

6.) Every brick you put in a wall leaves a much-needed bridge wanting and every bridge-brick leaves a needless wall wanting the same. And there are only so many bricks, brother, so many and so few, it’s all the same to me, it’s all the same to you.

7.) When you’re too cold, you lose feeling in your hands, when you’re too lonely, you lose a hand in your feelings. And you only get so many feelings, sister, so many and so few, it’s all the same to me, it’s all the same to you.

8.) A gentleman does not “whip his penis out”. A gentleman “unveils” it.

9.) If only rappers weren’t so anti-cunnilingus, they’d be able to use the “choco taco” double-entendre so astonishing well.

10.) If only we’d kept the letter “thorn” from the old English, emoticons for licking someone would be so much more obvious.