Wednesday 1/25/23

8:01 I had a good night. Aides put me to bed at 10:30. I slept well with minimal arthritis pain and incontinence episodes. I had a couple weird dreams but do not remember them. The aides got me out of bed by six. I went back to sleep in my wheelchair until they served breakfast.

I’m in good spirits this morning. But I say that almost every day. My mood sort of goes south as the day progresses . But today is going to be different. I am in control of my emotional well being. I choose to be happy and content.

I will never forget The Five Rational Questions:

is thinking based on obvious fact?
Will my thinking help protect me from probable harm?
Will my thinking help me achieve long and short term goals
Will my thinking help me avoid unwanted conflicts with others?
Will my thinking help me feel the emotions I want to feel without using alcohol or other drugs?

Threehonest “no” answers tells me if the thought is rational. Also remember the ABC’s of human emotions:

Outside events such as a breakup after 17 years.
Thoughts about the outside event which can be positive, negative or neutral.
Feelings caused by the thoughts about the outside events. Feelings correspond to the thoughts about the outside or external events.

I have been thinking very irrational thoughts about the breakup I can’t contro or change what happened I can control my thoughts about the breakup. My thinking is causing me to feel terrible. If I want to feel better I simy change my thoughts to more rational thinking.In short I’m just going to say F it and move on.

9:41a.m. I just got today’s menu According to the menu, they are serving country smothered chicken, mixed veggies, mashed potatoes, a biscuit and ambrosia for desert For dinner I’m having chicken noodle soup, hot dogs and vanilla ice cream.

12:59 p.m. I slept for a couple hours. I was awakened by a delicious lunch. I’m in a pretty good mood thanks to a nap, coffee and food. Best part is I feel awake. I hope to stay awake and tackle my book this afternoon

9:28p.m. I’m proud of myself. I finished two very interesting chapters in my book From Colony to Super Power: Unites States Foreign Relations Since 1776 by George C Herring. In these chapters the author discussed early American history to the War of 1812 and foreign relations during that era. I really enjoyed these chapters.

I started reading after lunch. I took a brief break for supper. Instead of hot dogs I had a fish sandwich. I didthn’t have much of an appetite . I only ate the sandwich. I also chatted briefly with Chocolatechip I said I would call her after dinner. Then I found out my phone isn’t working. I left a message for her to contact me in the morning.

I had mixed feelings about talking to her. On the one hand I was glad to hear from her. After all, I still love and care about her. But then again I’m just getting over the hurt of the breakup. Part of me tells me to take it slow because I don’t want to get hurt again. But then if she wants to be a part of my life I would take her back in a heartbeat. I truly love Chocolatechip. I can’t help myself in this respect.