Tuesday 1/24/23
10:24a.m. I slept pretty good last night. They didn’t get me out of bed until late. I had a good breakfast of pancakes and ham. But I didn’t drink the coffee because it was cold. Anyways I’m up, above the dirt and blessed with another day.
I feel pretty good. I’m away from that asshole roommate The aides put me to bed around midnight. But I was already sleeping in my wheelchair. I slept soundly and didn’t have weird dreams. I feel fairly alert but will probably go back to sleep.
12:08p.m. I just woke up to find lunch drinks on my table. They are serving coleslaw, macaroni and cheese, stewed tomatoes a dinner roll and shortbread cookies. This isn’t my favorite but I’ll eat it anyway. It is better than going hungry.
Not much has been going on. I have been sleeping all the time so I don’t have a whole month lot to write about. I guess that’s a good thing. Sleep is a blessing sometimes.
3:48p.m. I managed to do a little reading. Then I fell asleep for about an hour. I still feel tired. Well, I think the operative word is defeated. I lost a lot of interest and enthusiasm for things that kept me going such reading the news and my books. Nothing seems to interest me since the breakup. Hell, I lost interest in life. Hence. I am a defeated man.
I ate my lunch, even the stewed tomatoes. Eating is one interest I have left. For dinner I’m having a breaded fish sandwich, potato wedges and sliced peaches for desert. This is a little better than what I had for lunch.
It seems like an oxymoron when I write about wanting to die and eat. For a man who wants to die I’ve been eating everything in sight. I just had a pbj sandwich a little bit ago. If I really wanted to die wouldn’t I stop eating? I’ve always been an “emotional” eater.So when I’m very depressed I tend to overeat.
I’m out by the Nurse’s station now. They are bringing in my wardrobe and putting away stuff in my new room.So I will be soon settled in to my new environment. Big deal
5:39p.m. I had my supper drinks. The two cups of coffee didn’t cheer me up any. I must be very depressed because hot coffee works wonders. But supper did and I feel much better.
6:19 p.m. I feel better after eating. See, I’m an “emotional” eater. Depression had lifted., somewhat. Also, I feel awake. I think I can tackle that book tonigjt.
10:09 p.m. I finished Ch 1 in my book From Colony to Super Power: U.S Foreign Relations since Since 1776. I also read a half of Ch 2? Both were very interesting chapters. Then I fell asleep in my wheelchair Aides just put me to bed.