Friends

Beside the few of you here and my sons, I haven’t heard from anyone since Thanksgiving and that was to reply to my greetings. Along with the ex I probably think of my friends at least once a day, whether or not I want to.

All the others who said they would be there aren’t anymore either. I’m really starting to lose it here. I need a job but I can’t bring myself to look. I have no want to once again learn a job. I’m the old guy now. I’m slow and hurt and can’t keep up with people 20 years younger. My head is jumbled by the meds and I can’t get an appointment to see anyone until March for that. Why is it they say seek help and when you do you have to wait months for it. In the meantime your going crazy.

I really wish someone cared enough back then to have me institutionalized. I really wish I would have.

It’s like I have totally forgot how to live anymore other than hiding out in my apartment. Everything changed in a day for me and it’s like I was never there in anyone’s life 4 years ago.