Saturday 12/31/22
5:48a.m. I had a bad night thanks to nightmares and arthritis pain. My sorez foot was also acting up. I was g!ad when the not too gentle aides came to get meg up. I was in my wheelchair by 5:30.
I just got off the phone with Chocolatechip. She went to Bingo last night. She didn’t have a good time Then somebody knocked on her door at midnight. To make things worse they buzzed her intercoms at one. We were going on about how sick those people at Overbrooke Towers are. We also have a pretty good who is behind the harrasement. It’s someone from the Bitch Clique.
Chocolatechip said she is about to go back to smoking. Her lung Dr won’t be too happy but it can’t helped. I felt very bad for her because she was doing great down to two a day from a pack. Still I can understand how she feels. I could nevwever quit until I got COPD and they put me on oxygen.
Then Chocolatechip talked about moving. She said she might be happier at Freedom Place. But moving is an impossibility. Besides Chocolatechip had been living at Overbrook.Towers going back on twenty years. She said she is not going to letca bunch of pencil dicks force her out.
We talked for a change long time about different topics. Then I was served breakfast. I had a coffee cake with scrambled eggs and oatmeal. For drinks I had two cups of coffee and a glass of oj. Breakfast and Chocolatechip put me in a good mood.
9:30a.m I have been sleeping in my wheelchair. I was having a good dream about massaging a shoulder of a very pretty woman. I wash dreaming about Chocolatechip. She called and woke me up. We talked about a few mutual friends who passed. We talked about this one bguy named Wayne. Then we take liked about a few people who are long gone.
Chocolatechip was taking a break from her housework. She was smoking. I could tell because of heavy breathing. I suddenly wanted a cigarette myself. Even after five years I still get nicotine cravings.nivreaf someplace where nicotine is the most powerful narcotics known to man. I couldn’t quit and I don’t blame Chocolatechip. She gave it her best shot.
I remember talking to Chocolatechip. She as telling me that Barbara Walters died. Walters was 93 She aso said former Pope Benedict died. Death comes in threes. We wondered who would be next.
Then we started talking about our mutual friend Wayne. Chocolatechip said he changed towards the end Wayne was really nice to her. But he did visit her and we strongly suspect that’s how she got bed bugs. When he came to her apartment. One thing I said was he had his good points. Then Chocolatechip had to go and finish her housework.
1:23p.m. I had a good lunch. They served chicken and dumplings, slicer carrots, a dinner roll and a chocolate chipped cookie for desert. I also had two cups of coffee and a fruit punch. Lunch didn’t cheer me up because I got so depressed.
I had a bad incontinence episodes while eating I waited while the aides took care of the lunch trays then rang the call light. An aide answered and said she will be back. They always say they will be back. But I never see them again. I rang it a second time and finially got help after waiting an hour. Sitting in my own urine for so long didn’t help with the mood.
I don’t know I just get these da!Ned depression spells. Living in a nursing home is no fun. I feel so hopeless at times. I get to thinking I will never get better and will die here I think that my life is over. These thoughts are examples of negative. Irrational thinking. But they are also based on facts and I get so depressed when I think lik this.
One good thing is the mood doesn’t last. I am snapping back. Talking with Chocolatechip helps. Writing on here helps as well. I find writing therapeutic. It is like purging bad thoughts and feelings.
5:19p.m. I slept most of the afternoon. I was up for supper and drinks. They are serving cheeseburger t with French fries and peaches to for desert. Already had my coffee. I hope I’ll be getting my meal soon. I usually wake up after supper. I hope I can stay up and listen to my audiobook Grand Expectations.
My cold hasn’t been bothering me too much today. I did feel very weak and tired. I struggled to stay awake this morning but crashed in the afternoon. I got very tired. I felt like I worked a double at Eagle Manufacturing.