Tuesday 12/27/22

12:36p.m. I do not know what hit me know this morning. I got very depressed. They got me out of bed at 5. All I wanted to do was sleep. I think I did sleep in my wheelchair until breakfast. After breakfast I wanted to go back to sleep but Scott, from PT came to take me to my session. While there I thought people were lauoldghing at me and talking about me. Depression was compounded by paranoia.

I was glad to get back to my room. Si soon fell asleep again. I wanted to read and enjoy my morning. But I wad confronted by too many issues. For one thing it was very cold in my room. Then my roommate was acting like an ass. He insisted I parking his wheelchair right up next to me.. So I was freezing my ass off, feeling very depressed while suffering from an onset of claustrophobia.

My day didn’t start out very good at all. I dealt with all of this by sleeping.bi moved over to the sink where it wad wacrmer.vi slept in my wheelchair a good part of the morning. I just didn’t want to deal with shit.

Lunch cheered me up somewhat. They served two slices of pork, mashed potatoes with gravy, peas, a dinner roll and orange sherbet. I always feel better after a good meal. I called Chocolatechip but no answer. She is no doubt ok watching television. 

Well, eight more days until SS day on  January 3.i will get an 8.7% increase this year. By my calculations this comes to $73.95. Monthly income should go up to $923.94  I will pay Credit One S45.00.  This leaves $878.95. Then I will pay the nursing home $583. This leaves me with  $295.95. 

I am determined to by the rest The Story of Civilization by Will and Ariel Durant. All nine remaining volumes cost $130.90. Then monthly subscription to the New York Times cost $21.95 and Audible $15.95 and Open Diary $3.99. I should have $123.08 left on my Capital One account. I should be doing good next month.

Yet one of my biggest worries is money. I have the money. I have problems spending it wisely. I’m addicted to books a nd I spend way too much money on books. Oh well as long as I pay rent to the nursing home on time and the credit cards I should be ok. Everything else is taken care of.

5:00p.m. This turned out to be a very shitty day. Depression hit me again this afternoon. I didn’t want to do anything but sit in my wheelchair and sleep. Roommate kept getting on my nerves. He insists on getting up close and into my personal space. Then I had a couple accidents. They wouldn’t change my briefs after I rang the call light. Again I froze my ass off Everything, and I mean everything was getting on my nerves.

I was just talking to an aide who changed my briefs. She said everyone was having a bad day . Waterline broke she said d and they were short staffed  She wad called over from the other building as a replacement. We were also talking about the roommate. Earlier he told her that he I stole some of his candy we both said he isn’t a paranoid asshole. This was but another example of how crazy today turned out to be.

I hope tonight will be better. I’m going to have a nice dinner of grilled cheese sandwiches with tater tots. After that I’m going to listen to my audiobook Grand Expectations: The United States 1945-1954 by James T Patterson. I’m on Chapter Fourteen The Center Holds, More or Less.