Loop of nothingness

Dear Diary,

So I’m still here. Existing. Existing in my endless loop of nothingness. The void consumes me each day, but at first, I was afraid…I was petrified. Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side. But then I spent soooo many nights thinking how you did me wrong. And I grew STRONG. And I learned how to get along. Quoted by miss Gloria herself 🙂

I don’t even have anything different to say anymore. I know I’ll up saying the same boring thing about how shit life is. It is only I in this world that knows how badly I would like to kill myself, but I reckon my self-pity is through the roof. I wouldn’t say I was self-absorbed though. I think that’s probably the best thing about secretly feeling this way because the instant somebody comes to me with struggles with familiarity to mine, I literally Usain it to help them. Maybe I should be a therapist? Yes? No?

I believe it also helps me since sometimes I can help create temporary solutions and coping strategies for those in need of it. It’s like my own little way of helping myself to some extent.

I don’t know what I’m doing in this world. Just winging it like so many others. I guess I’m just waiting to get to that point of stability in my life.

– T