I’m just tired.

An open letter to the one I love the most:

I am sorry for putting you through so much misery and pain because of my drinking problem. I am tired of humiliating you and you having to forgive me over and over again. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and treat you differently, I wish I could be the person that you deserve.

I’m just tired… Tired of us going nowhere slowly, tired of the financial stress that we endure daily, despite us having multiple university degrees. I’m tired of letting you down and dragging your name through the mud. I want to be a better spouse towards you. I want to love you the way you need to be loved.

I need help, I need a break; I want to escape. I don’t know. I wish I could undo all of the toxic shit that I’ve done to you. You deserve much more.

I am tired of drinking alcohol, I don’t even know why I do it. All I know is that I want stop. For myself, and for you.